Chains Unbroken

by BECCA lessTHANthree   Nov 14, 2006


In the corner
filled with dust
not a soul
that she can trust

she sits alone
in the grey
in the fog
that blocks the day

cobwebs sway
on crumbling walls
she stuck inside them
as they fall

and they bring wind
that burn her face
as the debri
is thrown her way

the breeze is cold
on tear wet cheeks
on eyes that search
a heart that seeks

for some faith
some way to trust
to break down walls
and sweep the dust

a chance to live
some air to breathe
some love is really
all she needs

but she is locked
in real tight,
and nightmares haunt her
through the night

and in this room
with broken dreams,
ripped and torn
at the seams

are doors with dust
just left to open
hidden by
the chains unbroken

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Wow. I absolutely loved this poem. It was amazing. The feelings that are portrayed are almost perfect. The flow was great, along with the rhyming and such.

    In the third and fourth stanza, I believe you had the word "She" and it should have been she's, and then in the fourth you it could either be "burns OR winds" instead of burn and wind.

    Overall you did an outstanding job, another great descriptive poem.

    Keep it up, hun.
    <3 Teria.

  • 17 years ago

    by in.need.of.a.lucky.charm

    Wow, that was so powerful hun. the flow was smooth, it was brilliant.
    much love and many kisses,
    bex

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    My favourite of your's so far.
    I thought everything about this was perfect.
    You did a wonderful job on this.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    I enjoyed this poem. however, it wasn't my favorite of yours. there were a few parts that kind of messed up the flow, but overall the format was splendid. wonderful work once again. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Wonderful.
    The imagery stuck out the most, as I was picturing the whole poem in my mind. =] Rhyming structure was good and there were no parts I had to re-read and your vocabulary on this one was good. Wonderful job overall hun! Keep it up! 5/5

    Stephanie.

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