by BECCA lessTHANthree   Jan 21, 2008

And I just sat there,

Waiting for you to say something,

Anything at all, say no,

Scream I love you, I need you,

Please rewind me. Fix this,
Fix it.


We are broken.

Forever, because the floor was open for you...

Speak nothing.
You did it right--Perfect.


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Latest Comments

  • 7 months ago

    by Vanessa

    Nicely written

  • 12 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poem is unique in it's writing. Almost every last word of a stanza opens the following one. There are no rhymes, but guess it's your style. The words carry a strong message, and I liked how you played with them.

    Nice job on this one 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Very nice write! I would enjoy seeing you continueing you scheme of last word leading off next stanza, I guess I prefer continuity. But in the end I do enjoy this piece.

  • 12 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I like the structure of this poem except:

    ^^Anything at all, say no,

    I love you, I need you,

    Throughout the rest of the poem he last word is the first word of the next line except in the highlighted area above. I think if you fix that, the poem is excellent, creative and thought provoking. Nicely done!

  • 12 years ago

    by Viola

    Perfect. I LOVE it. Sometimes saying nothing means the most. Silence can hold a lot of meaning. I really like the concept and the short lines. It's writen in a unique way..and I like that. Great work! =] keep it up.

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