Too many people are responsible for these tears. I'm done. Only so much I can take in one night.

I'm happy most of the time now but there are still days that I wonder why I'm still breathing. Still days when the metal calls to me to spill my own blood. No one else understands, it's a constant battle to just survive.

Never again...

I've stumbled and picked myself up... over and over again with no safety net. And you know why cuz no one was ever there. Not really. And I didn't want to give people a reason to say I'm weak. And because of that I learned how strong I really am.

Mother: "it's like you're trying to escape to another life."
Me: "maybe you're right."

Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.

The pain is back. Feels like someone literally jammed a sharp blade into the base of my skull. Fun times.

Now my head isn't the only thing that feels like it has an ice pick in it.

Very soon I'm gonna kill myself and finally think of my happiness instead of others.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive