by Bugg Mar 5, 2008
category :
Love, romance /
i love you
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I want you to sweep me into your arms |
by Rebecca
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"i want to lay my head on your chest |
by Bugg
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I wanted to use 'take my breath away' in a sense of death, but also in a positive way, too. When we 'fell in love' in the beginning of the poem, he took my breath away and in dying he's also taking it away because he's gone. I can't really explain it, but that's the best way for me to say it. |
by oNice
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"take my breath away" is usually used in the positive sense, but here it almost seemed negative. Not sure if you meant it that way or not. None the less, I think the ending was fine. Little more work on the body though. |
by Bugg
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I actually wrote this for a guy that I really like. I wrote No More Fish for him too. |
by Bugg
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Dunno. The first couple of lines are okay, but the ending is a little weak. I'll have to fix that, eh?! ^.^ |