Will You

by Beautiful Forever   Mar 21, 2008


Will you follow me, wherever I go?,
No matter where it is, just you and me,
Even out in Rome, on the highest plateau,
Or taking a cruise, on the deep blue sea,

Will you listen, to everything I have to say?,
Even if I get nervous, and it comes out wrong,
Stuttering, having my words lose their way,
Or trying to win you over, singing a song,

Will you share, every ounce of my pain?,
Cry with me when everything is bad,
Hold me, while I'm standing in the rain,
Try your best, to never let me feel sad,

Will you promise, to love me forever?,
Unconditionally, as long as we're together,
Never allowing our love to be an endeavor,
Our hearts beating, with the weight of a feather,

Will you follow me to the after-life?,
And listen to the angels sing,
Will you help me overcome my strife?,
Become one with me, my other wing...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    Amazing:)
    Questioning form really works

    And there are such minor details that make the poem really unique and, having found one, you start seeking for them in the poem - that's what makes your "Will you?" intriguing.

    i mean like in the 1st stanza "the highest plateau" plus "the deep sea" show how emmm global your love is,
    and the "angels" idea also is great.

    overall, what amazed me the most was the fact that though in the poem you ask your beloved to give you everything, to love you, though you never say that "i love you and i'll everything for you", it's so obvoius in this poem because it is written with such a great emotion and your love though you don't mention it is behind every line. And this is really special and talented, to express your love without saying banal words.
    5/5

    ps. i just think you can remove those "," after "?" in the first lines of every stanza. it would be better i believe if you ask a short question and then kinda explain. i would make the intonation perfect.
    :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This poem is....wow! It's beautiful!
    I loved this part:

    "Even out in Rome, on the highest plateau,
    Or taking a cruise, on the deep blue sea,"

    This is so wonderful and it gives the reader a lot of visualness. Great write! Have a Happy Easter!

  • 16 years ago

    by jojo

    I really like your range of imagination, great work! Your feelings are deep and expressive i love it! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany C

    I really liked this poem. The flow was off in the first stanza. Maybe change the wording to make it better. Other then that the flow was good for the rest of the poem. I loved the questions that you asked. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Phantasma

    Will you promise, to love me forever?,
    Unconditionally, as long as we're together,
    Never allowing our love to be an endeavor,
    Our hearts beating, with the weight of a feather...

    ^^ I really liked this stanza, It was a great end to your poem, it was powerful.

    Your poem was a great read.
    I like reading poems that ask questions =]
    There was a great flow and you had a wonderful word choice. A find that a lot of poems use this rhyme scheme but it did suit your poem very well.

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