You Love Me [Not]

Beautiful sad poem, Miren..

To live without love, such a difficult task..

Life without love, a battle destined to fall.
[Nothing but] Fools baseless fears
[Must be drown] For all time.
I see you in distress, I [Now] smile.

^^^^

I think it is wonderful if you are able to feel that way, but I think it can only be so when you no longer love him. If I knew for a fact he is as heart broken as me, that would only add to my misery, because then our break up would be even more pointless.

I love your way of writing, girl. I will be back to read more from now on:)

Take care,

5/5 Ingrid

A wonderfully written poem. Your use of square brackets was creative and the flow and rythym was superb.

"Beautiful lies twirling to pupils exposed.
You love me, you love me NOT.
Lively footsteps chanting to what awaits
You and I [FOREVER], disengaged."

^Your first stanza was able to immediately catch my attention. It seemed to be a flashing screen, a topic to another and back again. It captured the audience with a sort of mystic, and yet enough thoughts to make us want to know more. Like a slightly blurred picture waiting to be cleared.

I especially loved that effect you used, beginning with a foggy unclear and vague image before sharpening the image to explain what it was and yet vague enough to allow us to relate.

The only critique I have are the square brackets. It was a creative idea, though near the end it seemed almost overused. Lessening it a bit would have made the poem less confusing. As I read it, I thought wow. This is a fantstic poem and yet it left me wondering the square brackets here? Should they be here? Are they emphasising something? If it was trying to emphasis something, the message didn't completely get across. Overall, this was a wonderfully written poem. 4.5/5

Wow.....................

Marvellous job, marvellous

Brilliantly written

Sweet JoB
[5.5]

Best wishes,

Sarah A.