Moment of weakness

I think if I was at the top of a cliff,
I would jump off and plunge to my bloody death.
I think if I had a pill that could kill me instantly,
I would swallow it in a heartbeat.
I think if I had a knife that was sharp enough,
I would cut my wrist so very deep.
I think if I had a nice strong rope,
I would hang it tightly around my neck.
I think if I had a gun with a bullet,
I would pull the trigger up to my head.

But only for a split second I think these thoughts,
It’s just a moment of weakness
Because I will hold on with every bit of strength I have,
All for my family as they love me so much,
They mean more to me than I do to myself.
So I would rather me suffer from my own pain for eternity
Than making them suffer the pain and grief
That killing myself would put upon them
Because really all they’re are just bad thoughts,
That I have in my moment of weakness.

(Written 2007)