Trapped Demons.

by Teria   May 12, 2008


Falsified liars live in my past,
and tomorrow's day shall not last.
Forbidden fruits lay in my womb,
and mannered qualities within a tomb.
Fallen dreams of a coward's mind,
slithered into imaginations you cannot find...

The heart of the broken, shattered tonight;
tears of the fears of the midnight fright,
lie in the arms of the mutilated dreams,
and finger the arms of the awkward teams...
of stars lining the moon lit sky, to awake
the time lost in battle fields we loosely take.

There's not much in this life that shall hold me back,
but a lot in your words and the touch that I lack.
With abandoned memories at the side of the road,
I've begged my body to dismiss this load,
but it's more than emotions beneath the sheets in my bed,
it's like a gate trapping demons inside of my head.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by StonedGooberz

    You have some buetiful word choice better then whatever i could comprehend and i love that in poetry. sweet ars job there
    Raindrops 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    "Falsified liars live in my past,"
    Aren't all liars false?

    "Forbidden fruits lay in my womb,"
    Good start to the poem, I like this line, assuming that this person is pregnant when it wasn't planned? With past regret, attached to it.

    and mannered qualities within a tomb.
    Fallen dreams of a coward's mind,
    slithered into imaginations you cannot find...

    "The heart of the broken, shattered tonight;
    tears of the fears of the midnight fright,"
    I love these lines, they add depth into the poem, through images and your clever play on words.

    The rest of it was great, your language and phrases are perfect.
    I love the ending, it's sad but still fits into the life category because it does happen in life a lot, the confusion and other (relationship?) hurt.

    I can't really critique this much, I really like this.

    Wonderful work, 5/5

    jess ~

  • 16 years ago

    by Needer of You

    And "tomorrows" day shall not last.
    and "tomorrow's" day shall not last.

    Fallen dreams of a "cowards" mind,
    Fallen dreams of a "coward's" mind,

    Comment: The apostrophe shows possession

    slithered into imaginations you "can't" find...
    slithered into imaginations you "cannot" find...

    Comment: Contractions weaken the feel of the poem

    but it's more than emotions beneath the sheets "in" my bed,
    but it's more than emotions beneath the sheets "on" my bed,

    Comment: Sheets cannot be 'in' your bed, rather 'on' your bed.

    Great poem and rhyme flows well.

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by SilentSuicide

    Wonderful work. My god, i loved this. i think im gonna favorate it and i dont ever favorate poems :]

    as for critisism, i dont have much to insult about this, nothing seems wrong, my personal writting style is to make the words flow almost like a song, if you will. but there is nothing wrong with what youve done, its all just my opnion y'know? 5/5<3

  • 16 years ago

    by AmberSherrellxxIve Been Sitting Here Trying To Find Myselfxx

    "The heart of the broken, shattered tonight;
    tears of the fears of the midnight fright,"

    ^My favorite lines.Perfect.

    As in your other poems that I have read, your word choice is excellent.It began smoothly and ended strongly.5/5

    -Amber

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