OUR BLUE PLANNET

by Muhammad Junaid   Jun 19, 2008


We live on a planet
The blue planet earth
Our lungs breathe its air
Enjoy the rainbow, when it emerges.

Our feet patter it every day
And stir the dust and clay
Other creatures do also share
Crops and fruits that earth has raised.

We gulp each drop of water
From the sky that has been poured
But to nature the human are selfish
Utmost distortion to its cycles had been made.

Blue planet is chocked in dust
And harmful chemical mixed in its air
Water is serving as poison
For crops, and animals that graze

We human ourselves are plunging into death
And depleting the ozone layer
Nature provided a shield for protection
If we keep on polluting, no more it will be there

Trees that serves as a shelter for birds
Are marked and being cut down
If they indeed are lungs of nature
Why is our conscious sleeping sound?

Mother nature will suffer severe hardships
If we don’t stop polluting our blue planet
Our future generations will be raised in a hell
And the blue planet will turn into a dark planet

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is a very powerful poem The imagery is quite thought provoking

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    ^We live on a planet
    The blue planet earth
    Our lungs breathe its air
    Enjoy the rainbow, when it emerges.^

    The flow is off as the last line in this stanza is too long. it needs an apostrophe it's. The first stanza is lacking the word choice to get the reader interested.

    ^Our feet patter it every day
    And stir the dust and clay
    Other creatures do also share
    Crops and fruits that earth has raised.^

    We don't really say our feet patter the ground, they walk it. Other creatures also share. You don't need to put the do in there, even with that change it still reads like an incomplete sentence.

    ^We gulp each drop of water
    From the sky that has been poured
    But to nature the human are selfish
    Utmost distortion to its cycles had been made.^

    This makes me envision people outside while it is raining with their mouths open....again the last line is too long and throws off the flow.

    ^Blue planet is chocked in dust
    And harmful chemical mixed in its air
    Water is serving as poison
    For crops, and animals that graze^

    No need for the And chemical should be plural chemicals. It needs an apostrophe again....

    ^We human ourselves are plunging into death
    And depleting the ozone layer
    Nature provided a shield for protection
    If we keep on polluting, no more it will be there^

    The first line doesn't make sense. You have too many filler words throughout the poem which may or may not be due to a language barrier.

    ^Trees that serves as a shelter for birds
    Are marked and being cut down
    If they indeed are lungs of nature
    Why is our conscious sleeping sound?^

    This is the best stanza of the poem.

    ^Mother nature will suffer severe hardships
    If we don’t stop polluting our blue planet
    Our future generations will be raised in a hell
    And the blue planet will turn into a dark planet^

    Now the last stanza was just a mess. The flow is off and there is too much repetition. With some work, I think you could turn this into a good poem. Right now the way it is, not deserving of the front page. Like I said though, I like the message you were trying to convey. Keep at it!

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Rose Blooming

    How truthful this poem is I especially liked this stanza:

    Blue planet is chocked in dust
    And harmful chemical mixed in its air
    Water is serving as poison
    For crops, and animals that graze

    If people only knew the harm they are causing and how just a little change could make a difference
    very nice poem, important message, nice structure.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I appreciate nature poems. I agree with this poem's strong message. We are savaging this world, raping it of its resources and leaving pollution where its beauty used to be.

    We are supposed to be the superior race, but it is hard to imagine any other species destroying this planet we call home. We are animals and certainly don't deserve this paradise we live in.

    Well done

    Michael

  • 16 years ago

    by Muhammad Junaid

    YOUR WORDS MEANT ALOT TO ME
    THANKS ALOT

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