Steal

by Dark Savior   Oct 11, 2008


A softened light illuminates the ground
a sharp but crisp hollowing sound
this man lay here, the champ; world renowned
he can feel his heart as it begins to pound

He hears the distant chirping of the bird
trying to fight off this evil urge

He hates them all and believes they should die
but as they say, it is an eye for an eye

Their child was taken without any warn
plucked from his bed on Saturday morn

Laying here he felt the warm liquid run through his eyes
the tables were turned, he was without his disguise
he was hunted, and his head hung on the wall like a prize
for what he had done the whole world should despise

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Wow, I loved it! It was dark and full of imagery that was strong and powerful, the wording was wonderful and it flowed well throughout. An awesome write.
    Love Tara-Kay

  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    He hates them all and believes they should die
    but as they say, it is an eye for an eye

    a very touching phrase really touch me , and i can really relate very well to my life ,

    and yes somtimes, it blind us we are blind and driven eye for an eye

    great poem , i love it !!

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    I'll agree with the other comments about the flow, I think the bird and the urge rhyme, as well as the line length threw it a bit.

    I don't understand why they say it's an eye for an eye in that instance.

    I like this though, it's quite original and the ending is very suited to the poem.
    New lines should always start with a capital by the way ;)

    5/5

    jess ~

  • 15 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Once again I thought the flow was a bit off in places and some of the words/rhymes seemed a bit forced, but other than those few small errors it was a good write. THe usage of proper capatalization and punctuation would make your peoms much better. Excellent job 5/5 GG23

  • 15 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    Good flow, not my taste in reading but it was well written :)

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