It feels like my light is out...

by isabel   Oct 18, 2008


I can't take the life I'm living
And the sound of worthless tries
I can't take the air I'm breathing
Screaming out twisted lies

The broken blade inside my pocket
Bleeds away the darkening sorrow
Hide yourself under your blanket
And weep, for there is no tomorrow

Resembling a fragile crystal
Candles burning in the night
My own struggle for survival
I can't take the endless fight

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    This poem is like a lot that are on Poems and quotes. It's become a very cliche poem that a lot of people do.

    I felt that the subject didn't take away from it, there are many poems that have the same subject but they don't mean the same.

    I just felt that there were times when he shined and times when it was ok.

    Resembling a fragile crystal
    Candles burning in the night
    My own struggle for survival
    I can't take the endless fight

    The first two lines of that part were really good. I felt that you could have choosen a better subject, but you write about what you feel and this is how you felt at the moment. It was just ok for me, nothing amazing, but nothing really horrible.

    4/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    I liked this poem. It was depressing but got the reader into it. There was a lot of feeling... and again, the way it was written is what made this poem. The phrases you choose are brilliant. Your word choice and flow are flawless! I really enjoyed this one as well...

    I'm really looking forward to more from you! 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    I really really really liked your first stanza, it was a great entry, i liked the rest of your poem too, it reminded me of a person about to commit suicide, im not saying suicide is good but still nice work^^

  • 15 years ago

    by rhend

    Oh melancholy reign ones again! how sad is your poem is. i feel the sadness even inside my soul.

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