Poetic Transaction (collab)

by Faithless   Feb 5, 2009


Professing undying love through rhyme and verse
Written in a shade of ink you can never reverse

Scriptures permanently embedded on the heart
Piercing through our skin as modern day art

Covering the truth with a sultry veil of distraction
It's time to exchange this lover's poetic transaction

No longer speaking a language of metaphors
Seasons of love flourish opening new doors

As these beautiful aspirations seem to submerge
You send three flawless words in which I immerge

Lost in your dark eyes with no way out of this maze
Clouds of lust roll in covering us in a poetic haze

Fate is coloring my life with rainbows and glitter
Years of endless searching, I finally found my answer

Shrouded under the mist letting our lips eclipse
Caressing skin to skin, decoding body scripts

Waking up weak in your arms under a starry night
Infatuation so strong, unable to resist or fight

Clear interpretations, giving in to sweet temptation
Writing a million phrases, inspired by our creation

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Very well done
    These cupleets blend well to describe a Poetic Transaction

  • 10 years ago

    by LoreNz0

    A true pleasure to read, the scene flows softly from the readers mouth and unfolds wounderfully in front of them. ther choice of wards was really good but a bit simple at times. all in all a real good poem =) credit to the writers

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Professing undying love through rhyme and verse
    Written in a shade of ink you can never reverse

    Scriptures permanently embedded on the heart
    Piercing through our skin as modern day art"

    ^^Ahhh...what a beautiful, beautiful opening! The imagery within these lines is absolutely fantastic, so striking and creates such vivid pictures in my mind, while the flow is faultless.

    "Covering the truth with a sultry veil of distraction
    It's time to exchange this lover's poetic transaction

    No longer speaking a language of metaphors
    Seasons of love flourish opening new doors"

    ^^I'm finding this piece to become better and better as I go along, with each line better than the one before it.

    "As these beautiful aspirations seem to submerge
    You send three flawless words in which I immerge"

    ^^I didn't like the use of "you" here...maybe: Sending three flawless words in which I immerge?

    "Lost in your dark eyes with no way out of this maze
    Clouds of lust roll in covering us in a poetic haze"

    ^^Favourite lines of the piece, these are just beautiful.

    "Fate is coloring my life with rainbows and glitter
    Years of endless searching, I finally found my answer"

    ^^I love the imagery within the first line, however I didn't like the rhyimg, up until now the rhyme has been perfect and it falters here which threw me a little.

    "Shrouded under the mist letting our lips eclipse
    Caressing skin to skin, decoding body scripts

    Waking up weak in your arms under a starry night
    Infatuation so strong, unable to resist or fight"

    ^^I really enjoyed the emotion and depth within these lines, they are easily felt and left me with such a sweet feeling.

    "Clear interpretations, giving in to sweet temptation
    Writing a million phrases, inspired by our creation"

    ^^This is a beautiful way to wrap this piece up..

    I am left speechless with this piece, apart from the minor two things I pointed out, I found this to be perfect.

    The flow is flawless throughout, rolls right of the tongue, while the imagery, wording, and content all melt together to create a beautiful read.

    You can always tell when a collab is good when you can't tell who wrote which part, as is the case here.

    I hope to see more of you two in the future.

  • 10 years ago

    by The Prince

    How nice to include the link at the end. This is a fantastic collaboration piece, there is so much crammed in here from two very poetic minds. The rhyme isnt forced, and the imagery is brilliant, I loved 'poetic haze'. Great work guys, really enjoyed it.

    Danny

  • 10 years ago

    by Sylvia

    There is nothing I can add to all the previous comments. This is a seamless collab, cannot tell that two people wrote this. It is also a beautiful love poem. Good job to both of you. 5/5

More Poems By Faithless