Small Town USA

What an honest interpretation of life in a small USA town, translated into this wonderful poem Ingrid.
I could smell the western country air in each line that you wrote!
So real, and yes, they are uncorrupted living a simple life with known consequences, yet who is to say that their way of life and aspirations are not as they should be? Sometimes, simple, honest and an innocent way of life is the best way, compared with how we lead our very complex lives today in the West.
Loved this poem Ingrid, and will return to it again and again.

5/5.very well written.A very true depiction of a small township.Keep it up. God bless.

I've never listened to this song, or maybe I have but was unaware that it was the title.. anyways.. a interesting poem as to what inspired you to write it.. I honestly dont have much to say about this one.. maybe if I looked at the lyrics it would be even more appealing to me.. but you did a good job of keeping the readers attention.

Good job.

5/5.

Bruce Springstein is fantastic.

'On this vast continent big dreams die slow deaths
In little bergs with funny names: small towns
Where youngsters grow up unaware of their fate
and bright colors get replaced by grays and browns'

This was a nice introductory stanza, it's easily readable and how you communicate the naivety of youth in a simple format is excellent. It's good to see something different from you, Ingrid.

'Entire families depend on one factory, the pulsating heart
In spite of all the dreams you end up doing as your daddy did'

The ideologies of following in your fathers footsteps. The idea of the factory could be turned into a stronger metaphor but I suppose it works here too. I was just thinking it'd be nice to use the metaphor to represent the monotonous cycles.

'On Saturday nights young ones gather at the drive in
and later head off to lovers lane for an intimate one on one
If they are lucky enough to find one who's not a cousin or niece
Making out in daddies pickup truck, until the night is done'

Haha! This was great, I loved the change in tone here. The attitude you expressed was quite matter-of-fact. Really enjoyed that. No changes here. 'One on one' made me laugh.

The ones without protection get a bun in the oven early
and a wedding without the cake, stares from angry parents'

This was cleverly written! I didn't expect something like this from you. The tone is consistent and I loved the idea of the bun in the oven. Ha! This whole poem could have been trite but you made it interesting and entertaining.

The last stanza seemed abrupt, I suppose. I perhaps would have liked to see more here. It just seems like you're concluding a bit too fast, we get a nice build up and a sudden end. It's not disappointing, I suppose it's a good thing because you leave the reader wanting more.

Well done!!

On this vast continent big dreams die slow deaths
In the little bergs with the funny names: small towns
Where youngsters grow up unaware of their fate
and bright colors get replaced by grays and browns

^^^Ingrid what a beautiful opening here for your poem.
I like how you penned down and visualize the life cycle
of the pepole living in the small town

Entire families depend on one factory, the pulsating heart
In spite of all the dreams you end up doing as your daddy did
No money for college or education, as a ticket out of hell
Girls hang around on the playground, boys stroll on the skid

^^^I like the metaphor that you used in the 1st line to describe
that, that was the only way to live life.I can relate the 2nd to the 4th
lines to the american movies set in small town that i have seen.
Seems like everyone just took up their parent's occupation

On Saturday nights the young ones gather at the drive in
and later head off to lovers lane for an intimate one on one
If they are lucky enough to find one who's not a cousin or niece
Making out in daddies pickup truck, until the night is done

^^^Wow what a great depiction here of how the young once make out
I don't know why but this just reminds me of the movie Grease

The ones without protection get the bun in the oven early
and the wedding without the cake, stares from angry parents
The rented tux and as an extra bonus: living with the in laws
until there's enough money to rent their own apartments

^^^This is my fav stanza so far. I like the metaphor that you used
on the 1st line the comparison of a bun with pregnancy, great job there
apart from that u also did a great in capturing the consequences and
how life would turn out for them

Still, there is beauty in the calm and relaxed ways
of these small town people, who are not corrupted yet
Who still know their neighbors names and show respect
Friendliness is still sincere and faces still glisten from honest sweat

^^^Well you have end this poem beautifully. You have managed to
capture the essence of how's life like in this small town.Yeah despite
all of the mischevious acts, still life goes on for them and the cycle just
continues...

Overall I'm really impressed with this piece especially coming from
a poet from netherlands

Excellent Job
5/5