Ignorance is this...

by Rolo   Apr 1, 2009


Here I dream while sorrow's singing, bells of pity sound their ringing
Harsher than I once remember, burning through its brush with ember
Faces that I can't recall, your memory: not there at all
Loving, laughing, wishing, dying, none of which are underlying.

I saw your love without emotion, peering through its false devotion
All your beauty in disguise; the look with which you mesmerize
Thinking that I had forgotten in the mind which is now rotten
Missing you is not a chore but something never done before.

Tears are streaming in confusion, such an act of disillusion
Now aware of all exposure, keeping still without composure
All my fuel has run dry; I never knew you said goodbye
Holding on to new found hate, ripping as I separate.

I plead to you, the stars above, return to me my one true love
For so long I had not known, all this time I've been alone
Fear arises, now impending; One step closer to my ending
On my knees I scream my claim, echoed with a voice of shame.

Loving, laughing, wishing, dying, one of which is now applying
Wait for me, my one adored, forgive me for all I've ignored
Hear the things you once said, before you left me here for dead
And smile though it may be wrong, for now I'm right where I belong.

-Rolo

Thanks for reading.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Lucy

    Wonderful poem. Loved the rhyme and flow, as well as the imagery including personification, vivid vocabulary, etc. Very touching and sad, but extremely beautiful. Thanks for writing :)

  • 9 years ago

    by SheenaMarie

    Great write...strong...5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    I like the opening stanza, it flows well and the story is well written. I thought it odd that you stretched out the lines as long as you did. It seems to sound better to me if you seperate the lines into the ABCB rhyme scheme. I know you used the internal rhyme scheme, but it really just felt like you made the lines longer to force the rhyming.
    Example:

    "Here I dream while sorrow's singing, bells of pity sound thier ringing"

    "Here I dream while sorrow's singing,
    bells of pity sound thier ringing"

    The ways its written, I thought the lines were too long.

    Moving on, the second stanza has a lot of great and powerful words like EMOTION and DEVITION and EXPOSURE and COMPOSURE. These words all a lot of meaning to the poem. Good job. In the first line of this stanza, i was confused a little. The LOVE WITHOUT EMOTION was too hard for me to imagine. Love is an emotion, so the imagery conflicts the words.

    The next three stanzas are still well written. I really enjoyed the opening line of the closing stanza; it was really powerful.

    Overall, i enjoyed reading the poem and it was well written as a story. I found the imagery pretty rough though. The poem was pretty random; it didnt seem to follow a logical path from start to end, but rather jumped from line to line. This is not a bad thing, but it makes the reader lose the imagery.

    I would rate a strong 4, but declined to leave a vote. I didnt want to bring your rating down.

    Hopefully I didnt come across too harshly, but I am an honest comment-er.

  • 10 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    This piece literally gave e goosebumps. lol It was amazingly written. The flow was almost perfect; a couple lines seemed forced. And I was just so into the poem, I was sad when it ended. :D But anyway. This piece was sad, and all the emotions were flooding off each word as I read. And the ending was a perfect finish. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Here I dream while sorrow's singing, bells of pity sound its ringing
    Harsher than I once remember, burning through its brush with ember
    Faces that I can't recall, your memory: not there at all
    Loving, laughing, wishing, dying, none of which are underlying.

    (Wow very beautiful start. i love the imagery, personification, both are good elements. nice)

    I saw your love without emotion, peering through its false devotion
    All your beauty in disguise; the look with which you mesmerize
    Thinking that I had forgotten in the mind which is now rotten
    Missing you is not a chore but something never done before.

    (great diction here, it gives the poem a very powerful effect)

    Tears are streaming in confusion, such an act of disillusion
    Now aware of all exposure, keeping still without composure
    All my fuel has run dry; I never knew you said goodbye
    Holding on to new found hate, ripping as I separate.

    (wow, another great stanza, this part makes me feel your pain. very emotional.

    I plead to you, the stars above, return to me my one true love
    For so long I had not known, all this time I've been alone
    Fear arises, now impending; One step close to my ending
    On my knees I scream my claim, echoed with a voice of shame.

    (this part is beautiful.)

    Loving, laughing, wishing, dying, one of which is now applying
    Wait for me, my one adored, forgive me for all I've ignored
    Hear the things you once said, before you left me here for dead
    And smile though it may be wrong, for now I'm right where I belong.

    Wow *claps for you* this poem was amzaing. i loved everything about it. very emotinal and it flows well too. very nice work. Shanik

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