Don't You Worry (They Don't Care)

This poem was absolutely phenomenal.
You did a very good job!

I like the last few lines. I think you ended it very well.

I'm going to remember this poem for a while to come.

;)
5/5, well deserved dear.
-me

Wow... Another strong one... Excellent descriptions...

"The glass shatters across the floor,
Feet shuffling covers glistening panels more,
Crimson red magnified by dread,
And yet despite lapses of color, its in no one's head."
--> I like this. Good start!

"Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
Yet no one's heart shakes in fright.
Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight."
--> I don't really get the first line... Doesn't the gunshot echo instead of the bullet? I like the rhymings here though.

"Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts."
--> There's the strong imagery again. Good use of vocab.

"Brain blown, splattered upon the wall,
Always tried to stand so tall.
Will they care, will they not?
Am I important enough, worth a thought."
--> Excellent ending! :)

5/5
Good Work! :)

Just like I expected.... Fantastic again.. hehe

Its a really creative style of writing, i enjoyed this.

Well the poem was very sad indeed. I like the words you used in the poem. Well done.

The flow was smooth from start to end.

The glass shatters across the floor,
^ excellent opener. It has a 'frightening' tone in it.

Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
^ I like the imagery here. The use of 'hearing senses' is good.

Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight.
^ Great 'emotions' in these two lines.

Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts.
^ Best stanza in my opinion. Everything in this stanza was perfect. Good job.

Will they care, will they not?
^ I like the use of 'question' for the final two lines.

Am I important enough, worth a thought.
^ Good assonance (I'm not sure if that's what it's called. - sorry if I'm wrong