Fainting Memories

by Jad   Jun 3, 2009


The time we spent together
Thinking it would last forever
But the time came and went
And now all is rent.

Our love for each other
Was different then any other
And yet it ended one day
Never again to replay

Those memories are leaving
And I'm believing
That I will no longer see
These fainting memories

Those fainting memories
Will forever leave with me
A scar of hate and distrust
That will never go away nor rust.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Those fainting memories
    Will forever leave with me
    A scar of hate and distrust
    That will never go away nor rust.

    *This was my favorite stanza. I think this one was stronger than the others. Some of the others were lacking in emotion. But not this one. This was a good way to end a poem. I love the imagery as well. Nice work. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by Andrew

    This is nice. Loved the poem. Some rhymes are forced e.g rent. I think you should consider some other word. The way you ended it as nice but please if this is a true story, please dont hate or distrust for i believe she was among one of the one thousand frogs that you will kiss to get your princess. They best is yet to come.

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'Will forever leave with me'
    `Did you really mean to say leave or did you mean live?

    'These fainting memories

    Those fainting memories'
    `You said these then you used those, I personally wouldnt use the same line so close together, the repetitiveness did not make a positive effect in my opinion, I would have liked something different instead of having a repeated line in your poem.. it wouldnt jolt the poem as much and the flow.

    Temps. [Beyond a Poets Mind]

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