The Only Life I Had

Six years old, I was raped by my brother's best friend
He told me to forget, I agreed, and told him I'd pretend
Minutes felt like hours, I thought it would never stop
I told, but nobody believed me, I hated that stupid cop

Seven years old, another boy this time a little stronger
He knew what he was doing and it lasted a little longer
He was a friend of my dads, sometimes I thought he knew
Then I thought twice and prayed that it couldn't be true

Eight years old, we were at a resort for Christmas time
I saw Santa sitting in his chair, upon his lap I tried to climb
Soon we went back to the hotel and I went for a little walk
I saw old Saint Nick, a gun to his head, it only took one shot

Nine years old, I was so alone in such a terrible world
My daddy couldn't stop drinking and hitting his little girl
It lasted for a few years, he used me for his pleasure
He said since mommy was gone I was his little treasure

Ten years old, I got kicked out of my elementary school
I punched a girl in the face and they said I was really cruel
I guess they didn't see the scars of all the cruelty from her
Even though I told them every time it would occur

Eleven years old, I ran away from everything around
I ran from the life I had because all I did was frown
But it brought me to a place, where I wasn't free to leave
It only brought more pain, more rape, and a lot of grief

Twelve years old, I was left unconscious on the ground
I couldn't move an inch, I was just waiting to be found
A few hours later a man found me lying in the pouring rain
I wouldn't talk for weeks, and I would never be the same

Thirteen years old, I slept at a park for more than a week
I was forced into a foster home but still I wouldn't speak
I got food, shelter, clothes, and toys but for a little price
Again the cycle of hurt kept on, drugs were my only vise

Fourteen years old, I didn't want the drugs anymore
I just wanted out of the life that I couldn't endure
I climbed up to the roof and walked to the ledge
I took a breath, just one step, and I fell off the edge

**Thought I'd explain:: My 14th birthday I jumped from a three-story roof. I guess it wasn't high enough... I was in a coma for about 3 weeks.. broke a few things.. went back to the foster home.. stayed for a month.. then left. I've been living on the streets for 6 months.. it's a lot better.