No One Knows....

Theres no way to put it,
theres not way to express it...
Exactly how you feel...
No one knows.

The typical how are you,
Comes with the automatic,
Good and you?

no one ever tells anyone their feelings,
only whats going on with their lives
is that opening up,
or just small talk...

I can tell you now
the certain things that are bothering me right now,
but you'll never know how i truly feel....

No one seems to ask...
they just figure out whats wrong...
and then they stop...

They don't know its something deeper than what it is.
They don't know that i wouldn't mind if my mom was dead,
They don't know that i feel like i shouldn't even be on this earth.
They don't know that i wish i could get into some freak accident so they could see how much i actually mean to them.

I'm the most hated child out of six girls...
She has no clue how much that comment ate at my soul.
She tore me in half by saying that, but you know...
She'll never know.

I hide what I'm feeling, but i say whats bothering me.
I don't get it.

I feel like I'm falling
but i feel like I'm floating at the same time.
Theres nothing i can do...
I'm stuck in a world that i can't get out of.
Suicide won't help...
and neither will spilling out how i feel...

I'm in the present physically,
but my mind is never really there.
I'm thinking about things that made me happy,
or things in the future that could be...

I see what i wanna do for a living,
knowing that once I'm there I'll be happy...
i see me in the past with the people that made me the happiest...
but in the present...
Everything is gone...i don't have anyone to make me happy.
I dread everything
I dread school. i dread being home. i feel left out of everything. no one understands...

No one knows...