Base Jumper

by Sole   Sep 19, 2009


Twitching at the lip, a crease crawls across skin
Sunshine, so bright inside my head, wont let the rain in
Smile on face, ecstasy embrace
Stealing jealousy away, don't care to lose, don't need to win

Heart hammers faster, arms outstretched, eyes alight
World spins around, nothing wrong, nothing right
Adrenaline slave, carelessly brave
Time's lost to wonder, man cannot achieve flight

Into the air, feet leave earthly ground
Flying for a second, wind rushing blocks sound
Cartoon stall, sudden fall
Heart in mouth,turn, twist, spin, flip upside-down

Slow motion, real time, never felt so calm
Every muscle relaxed, sweat beads in my palm
Pull the ties, canvas flies
I jump, fly, fall, close to death but never harmed.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by oldthings

    Love the content, great topic,
    the third lines of the stanzas are also very enjoyable,
    only critism i have is in the last lines of the stanzas, they don't seem to flow as smoothly with the rest of the piece.
    its like after the shortness of the third line the jumping back to the length and rhyme of the first and second doesn't fit.

    Into the air, feet leave earthly ground
    Flying for a second, wind rushing blocks sound

    it took me a minute while reading this line to realize you meant the wind rushing drowned out the sound. once i did i liked it very much. that could just be my mind slow on the uptake or a need for punctuation or rewording.
    not sure.

    I liked the length of it, and the subject matter, the rhyme scheme was creative and i liked that as well, the last lines of the stanzas just seemed to take away from it for me.

    Overall very good. 4/5 from me. =)

    keep writing.

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