Emotional shell shock

In a tunnel vision point of view
Still a step behind a happy ending
Seems like time stops so often
I can't track the time I'm spending

My heart would be racing if it wasn't still
From a sickness without a cure
Emotional shell shock and a loss of will
Leaves your life in a constant blur

I spend every moment of everyday
Trying to kill this constant pain
Intoxication is my only escape
It's all i got left to keep me sane

I stumble alone through this hall
Even when I'm in a crowd
I need these pills to bring the silence
Because the world around me is so loud

I live to make you smile
But I'll never be more then a friend
Because my intentions are focused on
What lies around the next bend

You ask me for advice about love
Because you just don't know what to do
This may come as a shock to you
But I'm just as lost as you

You press your lips against his
Just in time To catch my eye
My heart shatters but I don't even flinch
Silence is my only reply

I just keep walking forward
As the rest of the world continuously fades
On the edge of nothingness
I balance upon the edge of blades

Smoke continues to cloud my vision
As the sky keeps closing in
My only sanctuary is my broken mind
I am sheltered by my sins

Your pain is my happiness
My pain is your hell
I am a ghost walking across the earth
Suffering under sorrows spell

He'll never know how special she is
Never know what she meant to me
I've played out this story a thousand times
And happiness was never meant for me

My heart's shattered, bruised, and broken
I don't know how it's beating still
My shell shock is keeping me from fading
I'm driven by the loss of will