Hanging by a Moment

The rhythm and flow of this unrhymed poem is as amazing as it timeless theme

Lifehouse are the best. Hangin by a Moment my favourite song. Your poetry is good.

I could feel the sudden
cascade of forcible darkness
so deep...beneath the ragged

*I don't think you need the "so" before "deep" I think deep says it all. I do like that you said cascade, that's always a nice word lol*

cliff of friendship that, I could

*I think the comma creates a pause which then ruins the flow of the poem. I'd take it out. Flows much better without it.*

At a blow, turned handicapped with an
"ABSENT FOREVER" admonition

*I love these last two lines. They have such lasting effect and really bring out a boldness in your emotions.*

changes of the seasons and

*I'd take out "and" that way the two lines flow into each other and add a deeper effect,*

the timeless wisdom of the
dying auld lang syne...bring

*I love this part :) the diction is very interesting and creative. Really adds more to the saddens of the poem. Lovely*

and your memories are
like these evening stars

*I can really relate to this part. It makes me sad almost in a way. The memories can be so bright and painful that all you can do is cry. Love that you put the part about the stars in. I love stars and I often remember the most when it's night*

And like a fragmentary song

*The word "franmentary" didn't flow right to me. I think "fragmented" sounds so much better and flows into the nest line nicely*

each word of this unrhymed poem
written between a few sobs and
involuntarily tears mutely screaming

*I loved this part. I often do that. I'll point out that the poem doesn't rhyme or that what I'm saying makes no sense. I think that's what makes the poem real to me. You broke that wall of the poetic world and let me into your world if that makes since. Anyways I really enjoyed this piece. I often fall in love with your poems :) and this is another great one. Congrats dear. Nik*

Congrats on the win :)
Take Care
Cindy

Beauuutifulll! I love it... So wonderfullly written... Congratulations on the win!!! :) You deserve it! I love how the inspiration came from 'Hanging by a moment' by Lifehouse. I love the song!