If I Opened My Heart to You.

Very creative lines, I really was haunted and touched at the same time by the message out of your heart. The thoughts were just alluring and spoke together perfectly. I did not expect the opening and it was very clever, I liked the basic structure or your poem, it flowed well and a hard-hitting end. Wonderful work!

MaryAnne

You have grown so much in your writing, I am impressed!

You've always been able to pour out your heart in words that link together hand in hand that pool your emotions. well done

Thank you for joining the contest and really I think you have done a gr8 job over here!

I would dedicate
my heart to you -
as a gift of
dissection -
^^smart stanza to start with. Being direct bout the main idea of the poem.

exploratory surgery,
per se.
^^I did not love this line tho

- to expose
guilt asphyxiating
lingering thoughts -
^^ the wording here is just amazing,
u used gd adjectives..for ur vocab

for I was reluctant
to whisper goodbye -
upon that room
sedated by
death.
^^i think here u have touched me in a very weird way..i would have never known it was about death. If I did not reach this part.
SImply creative, and SAD

then I thought...

could this be -
an omen,
perhaps?
>>I love the way u went on, I felt like I'm reading one of Paulo's novels ..

that departure
is futile -
for you will lie
motionless
beyond heaven's gates -
'til we meet again.
^^^u took my whole sense over here..in a very very smart way. nothing that I thought was no worth it in this part. DEtailed in a way that moves a mountain

It is here that
I will bestow
my guilt for all to see,

yet until then...
>>thoughtful part..seriously thought provoking..again.

this will stalk me -
lurking behind tinted shadows,
as if your footprints
are a carbon copy of mine -
tracing my every step,
in wonder of why I never
had the courage --
to say goodbye.
^^^u have done the gr8est effort and job by this ending.. I did not like the word carbon but again it serves ur msg unlike any other word ..
SO lets talk about how it gave me this chill to reach ur ending lines...such a very sad poem..
Emotional..TRUE..speaking of, some of the hard moments..anyone would go through.

A credible poem I believe
5/5

This Is An Amazing Poem.
Dont Let ANYBODY tell You Diferently.
I Loved It And Such Raw Emotion!
Keep Writing, PLEASE?!?:)
Im Going To Keep Reading Your Poems=D
5/5
It Would Be Great If You Could Comment And Rate My Last Poem? THANKS!

Much Love, Jessi.