Forgiveness.

by Courageous Dreamer   Feb 23, 2011


Bridges trampled
with false expectations
scowl in pain as they
warp from exposure to
disappointment -

slumping into
this wetland of
my heart weft from dragonflies
tangled with beetles,
where emotions lie within
moss; hidden with
disgust.

yet now-
lily pads begin skimming
the surface,
offering a new path
to forgiveness.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Temps, I loved this poem in the contest and I love it even so now. You have such a wonderful mind and great creativity that really opens up my mind to what you are trying to show me and also getting the emotions across clearly! :] You have a really good grasp with the imagery in this piece and it is clear to see everything that you are trying to get us to picture and you get some really deep emotions across within your lines! :] The poem flowed smoothly and the structure was really great considering how you had all the restrictions when you wrote this.

    "Bridges trampled
    with false expectations
    scowl in pain as they
    warp from exposure to
    disappointment -"

    Can I say colorful! You describe a mental bridge so well and a real one that it seems as if they are one and I can so easily see this bride from your wonderful descriptions that you use. beautiful imagery to put it simple. I also liked this because it really draws in the reader as the first stanza and it creates a great curiosity to see how the rest of the poem plays out!

    All in all, I am impressed as always and I am always glad to see you trying new things and I hope you continue to test your creativity with new things! :] So before I babble endlessly I would just like to say that this piece really touched me as a emotional piece like some of your other writings! Great job and keep writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by Cindy

    Temps
    Another wonderful piece you have penned. So much emotion comes from each of your words.
    Excellent job!
    Love Cindy

  • 13 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Temps,

    I adored this when I first read it, still do. I remember reading it and some things reminded me of what I write about and that's why I felt connected to it. You took things that I find beautiful and placed them within a poem, and while this wasn't intentional it was that which allowed me to become so in love with this poem. That is why you are such a wonderful writer, because you write in a way that lets your readers bond with your words.

    I liked the concept behind this poem, while it is something spoken about often, your creativity allowed for a modern touch to it.

    Your images were stunning, dragonflies in the wetlands tangled with beetles? lovely. I adored the metaphor and I think the bridges worked well.

    slumping into
    this wetland of
    my heart weft from dragonflies
    tangled with beetles,
    where emotions lie within
    moss;

    The above was probably my favorite part because it was to say the least a stunning picture. I didn't feel the hidden with disgust part was necessary after it, but it didn't bother me because I still was caught up in the poem.

    Well done on writing a great piece in under 50 words, you rocked the challenge!

    -Mel

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