Sunless
by Poet on the Piano Apr 5, 2011
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Where is your face? |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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13 years ago
My fingerprints are lonesome,
buried in the globe
of useless notes and deities,
will there ever be a match?
^I loved how you expressed yourself here, it's so original!
Just a really sad poem, deep with meaning. I felt I really could connect with what you were saying and find myself feeling a few of these emotions myself.
Love it. -
13 years ago
by Blissful
The title really caught my eye and made me eager to read!
I really liked how you started it out with a simple question. I found myself searching for the answer as I was reading your poem.
"I just want our souls to truly meet."
^This hit me hard. Sometimes that "want" becomes so deep and strong, it is all that you think about and want it to come true. I love how this was worded, flawless.
"The universe is burning beyond our struggle,"
^Loved it! Its as if the universe is intertwined with your love.
"thirsting for a leader among light
we're too deep into our own blight"
^Didn't really like the rhyme here, it seemed a tad amateur.
"That way, that mood creates a labyrinth,"
^The repetition of "that" threw me off here. I'm not sure if there was a specific reason as to why you used it twice but the second one could be replaced with a "the"
"My fingerprints are lonesome,
buried in the globe
of useless notes and deities,
will there ever be a match?"
^My favorite part of the poem! Wow, truly blew me away. The wording and how you pieced it together truly stood out to me and made me love the piece even more. I got a different meaning each time I read it and I loved that!
"Softly means never restored
mystery means cold, tainted sorrow."
^The repetition works here! Very profound.
I loved the ending, it was perfect and so heartbreaking! As a whole, I really enjoyed reading this poem. Well done!
