Psychotic Manifestations (Collab with Lebanese Phoenix)

Oh my gosh! lol I can't even express how those words flowed with so much efficiency! It's so complex yet so simple, and I love the use of metaphors! Definitely one of my favorite poems ever!

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAGNIFICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
I really loved this poem, and those three words say it all. 5/5 all the flippen way!!!!!!!

-AJ

Some poets just click, they flow together like streams into the ocean. You two are just like that, your flow and oneness created brilliance.
Super write
Connie

You two are really amazing, you should do another collab right away! :)
Abed, you have a very wild imagination, and a great potential, you write with passion, and MarryAnne, I have read a couple of your writes, you seem to be a very talented writer, and I enjoyed reading them actually, I loved the darkness throughout the piece, something that is a little mysterious and kind of depressing, I was touched by the awesomeness of the descriptions that you both mastered with. :)
but, I am not sure about the title at all, I guess it is too simple and it isn't that captivating which is not expected, for I know that both of you are creative and you can easily come up with something much better :)

-I LOVED the "ebony voices" part, it was such a dark profound metaphor, and it said so much, and it was great to start the opening with it. At first, I didn't get the whole meaning, I had to read it twice, but then I grasped something! :) and also, I could see that the wording was strong but I believe there were few words which aren't much needed, and you could drop it, but it is just my thought :)

"The sun couldn't stop this urgency
leaving me in intricacies
of a thousand black hearts-"

Of course, that was my favorite part of the poem, I couldn't help but add this piece to my favorites, although "black hearts" is over-repeated but I loved it here for it was well-placed, it made the flow even more perfect. :)

"I am just a victimized willow."

I too love this line! I honestly had to open the dictionary twice or three times I guess, because there are few words that I couldn't understand, that proves how strong the wording was, my only suggestion would be to remove some adjectives, there were too many adjectives. :)
-The ending left me speechless, and it was really well-written :) a very successful collab, great job for both of you! keep writing together.

With Love. :)

It was so fun working with youuuu :D

And our gem (quoting you) is lustrously shimmering!!