My Best Poem

Because I owe it to myself,
I will be a better woman.
Because when I came home
after school I had no one
but my bed to wait for me.
And when I was a little girl
no one warned me from men
that I turned out to be another
number on the molested kids list.

It's for the late hours I stayed up
that now I can't give up,
for the dispirit in my childhood that
no one understood,
for the fear of sleep
for the neglect that cut me deep,
because I thought pictures are
called "Father", and I had to
raise up with a working mother.

For every parents meeting that
I felt weird about, and every
Fathers day I did not celebrate.
Just for the bitterness I have felt
when being hurt, for each person
who tried to tread me into dirt.
To the fact that the people I
can trust are very few,

not because I'm semi orphan,
nor cause people who don't
even know.. say I can.
But because I owe it to myself
I will be a better woman.
For every liar, and each lie
for all the untruths ever said
and the names of those fake
gossipers running inside
my head.

Because I think this is the best
and purest of all the poems
ever written and because
people consider pale thoughts
too cliche not to be hidden,
and clear pain is too weak
for poetry because they all
think hurt, love, and anger
do need metaphors
to make great sonnets,
and that simple words
cannot send great messages,
like this one, like mine

because I know they are wrong
I will be a weird poet, a better
one who doesn't sit five days
nor five minutes to color her
faint world, for I will never count on
complicated words, nor fake tragedies
to find fans, because I know endings
can always be better than beginnings
and a sad opening stanza could lead
to a happier closing one, and for the
similarities between such a jumbled
yet precious poem, and my own life

because I know my sad poetry comes
from a very shining soul, and above all
because I know that words do not need
to rhyme all the time to make a better flow,
because all humans deep inside do
believe in perfection, and crave it,
but excellence is what I look for
just to be different and to act
differently, and hence I achieve it.
I will be a better woman,
only for "myself".

Because "you", will never find out how much "I" mean it.

by: Rania Moallem