Blind Eyes (Double Mini-Monoverse)

Short ,simple ,sweet...full points

First of all: well done on the form. I could imagine that it's very restrictive as there's not many syllables allowed per line, plus you have to rhyme.

I think that the first stanza really captured me. Surely it's not the most "poetical" thing I've read but its simplicity and the way it could connect with so many people makes it strong. I especially like the phrase "in any you and me". At first it seems like forced rhyme, but when I read it again I realised the importance of "any", as if it doesn't matter how much you and he change, people will never think that you were meant for each other.

The second stanza I found to be a clever way of rhyming. "endeavor" is an excellently chosen word. An the impact of the word "forever" fits perfectly with the previous stanza. I guess that the people you're talking about are only negative because they haven't experiences such happiness as you do before.

The third stanza speaks of strength. I love the way you're actually saying that you'll keep holding on, whatever people may think or say. Love is a business between two people only, after all.

I think the fourth stanza was a bit vague so it kind of contrasts with the previous three stanzas. I think that's what one of our Foppers (can't really remember who) tried to say, too. Your meaning is less clear here, but if one takes a second look he/she will slowly realise that all that the poem is about is summarized in this stanza. You can't stop drowning in his beautiful eyes, you can't stop loving him, and you will always be able to get through the grey moments of life. I guess this would be easier noticed if "sympathize" were changed to "sympathizing", so there's at least a little logical connection between this stanza and the rest. But of course we can't just mess up the form, so I perfectly understand. It still remains a strong poem. Well done.