Another deserving poem, by Jenni, this week, who seems to have mastered the art of sad poetry, in a very short time. The poem's title "Our winter", so aptly describes the wintry emotions between lovers, using "November's wounds" to capture the emotionally "bleak December". The choice of words using wintry feelings to symbolize the frozen relationship is astute, and you as a reader can feel the emotion laden chill deep within. The outcome, "that our winter might last", and poem ending note, "but to be honest I do not miss you any less", is uniquely written, suggesting she is going to truly miss him. It is difficult to select just one stanza that stands out, as each is well thought of and the poem as a whole has a great flow and does so well to capture the gloomy sentiments of a break-up. This stanza particularly stands out to me:
With tears freezing
upon your heart
I ponder, wondering
whether you and me
is all we'll ever be
or if it might turn
into us.. again.
The hopes of an "us", is what can bring true lovers together, and rekindle love again. The "you" and "me" is what will snuff out the embers again. A very "affective" write, deserving of a win, in my opinion.
This one has another Jenni "touch". It is another poignantly sad love poem which reflects the inner feelings very well. I am truly amazed at how well you can portray depth of a sad emotional loss in so few words. I loved your sentiments here, and hope the spring brings back cherry blossoms again.
The only place that has me wondering is:
"With tears freezing
upon your heart"
Did you mean to use, "my" instead of "your" heart, as in first person here, instead of second person? I think it would look more effective if stated in the first person.
Wow, Jenni! This is amazing. I'm adding this to my favorite poems. (:
This has a feel like a poem Emily [can't write last name in here because it says her last name is a bad word] -.-.... would have wrote. I love her poetry and I'm beginning to fall in love with your writing.
You have a very unique and emotional style that is very written penned in all of your poems.
I'm speechless! Jenni, this poem is stunning! I love how you wrote this, and it's very unique and creative. I love how you compared these emotions to the cold winter months, and how you chose to write this poem. It was strong and wonderful to read! Amazing! I love it!
I like that you also miss whoever you're addressing, and how you mention it in the first and last line of the poem!