An Eclipsed Sunshine

by Rania   Jan 1, 2012


Riesling rays drunk among
a flock of radiant stars
[not all necessarily seen]
and a river of blue light
rippling, yet in shame...

while I burn in the shadow
of this solar eclipse.

Though 'tis not a planet that is
blocking my sunshine, nor a silvery
coconut that others eyes do hope to reach..
But it is passing recklessly between
me and the earth...

Perhaps it is a world's new black wonder, that
won't pass by just like a wandering gray cloud-
no, nor will move on as the new moon is born.

It is an everlasting eclipse that will conceal
the love that the fraud beams once
revealed.

Unless a coffee storm hits deep down,
my intoxicated core
I, will no longer be bright and wild.

by: Rania Moallem

---

Riesling: most popular German wine, with a golden color.

4


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    The title and the composition is so original, I knew it had to come from none other than the "Princess of sadness," someone who knows how to project the inner state of sadness so well. Once again, the symbolism using celestial bodies, the sun, and the moon will always get some attention. Most poets use the symbolism of the sun and moon in a love poem, to describe how big, deep reaching or intense is their love. This poem, however, converts common symbolism in a most uncommon way, to project an inner sadness blocking one's "sunshine" (=happy feelings). Use of "Riesling", a sparkling white wine, to describe sunbeams, that are "drunk"; "a river of blue light" to describe the flood of melancholic feelings "while I burn in the shadow of the solar eclipse" are amazingly used here to magnify the personification of the sadness within.
    Though 'tis not a planet that is
    blocking my sunshine, nor a silvery
    coconut that others eyes do hope to reach..
    But it is passing recklessly between
    me and the earth...
    This stanza captures the dark emotions so well, by expressing that it is neither a large body (planetary), nor a silvery coconut (a full moon) as the cause of my eclipsed sunshine. A thoughtfully worded riddle here:
    Perhaps it is a world's new black wonder that
    won't pass by just like a wandering gray cloud
    no, nor will move on as the new moon is born.

    It is an everlasting eclipse that will conceal
    the love that the fraud beams once
    revealed.
    The above expressions, presented as a riddle, seem to refer to a sunspot (= a dark spot) that are blocking her sunshine (=warm and friendly nature), evanescent phenomenon caused by magnetic storms that disturb surface temperature, used here as a perfect analogy to describe the sad feelings causing the sunshine to be eclipsed, hopefully temporary like the sunspots.
    A lovely ending, to this poem suggesting that perhaps some day a coffee storm (=sun storm) will stir up enough heat to clear the cooled down surface (=sad feelings) to clear the dark sunspot that is blocking her sunshine (=warm feelings) currently. In my personal opinion this last stanza could have been bettered by using "sun storm" instead of the "coffee storm", to complete the metaphorical projection of the energy needed to clear the sunshine, of its dark spot, in the context of this wonderfully sad poem.
    Unless a coffee storm hits deep down
    my intoxicated core
    I, will no longer be bright and wild. (10)

    (From Judging comment 1-8-12)

  • 10 years ago

    by Pain

    Well done

  • 10 years ago

    by silvershoes

    To begin with, riesling is an awesome word choice. I had to look up the definition to be sure (a dry white wine) and it generates a unique blindingly-white image of the rays. Props for that.
    A flock of radiant stars, not all seen - that is a nice touch. Reminds us of the limitations of our vision, and of the stars which have been born but we cannot see because they are so far away that the light resonating off of them has not yet reached earth.
    Silvery coconut is a rather comical way to describe the moon, I'm not sure if I like it here. It takes away from the seriousness of the poem, but kudos for originality.

    "won't pass by just like a wandering gray cloud
    no, nor will move on as the new moon is born."

    I feel that this portion is too clustered and could be broken up with grammar (a comma maybe?).

    "Unless a coffee storm hits deep down
    my intoxicated core
    I, will no longer be bright and wild."

    Again, could use a comma after 'down'.

    ---

    Nana, this is a lovely write, like all of your writes are. You are a true blue poet - poetic spirit to the core. I always love reading your works, I only wish I found the time more often.

    Stay bright, sunshine. Don't let anyone snuff you out..

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Astronomical poem delivering a rare view of your aura

  • 10 years ago

    by Decayed

    OMG:)
    so happy that this poem won...<3
    Congratulationsssssssss

More Poems By Rania