I Wish...

How sad..a most beautiful piece I've ever read from your poem...great work5/5

This poem I felt it had great meaning to it and was well written and structured...

I stare at where you lay
As I kneel on your final resting place.
I only wish you were here this day
Just so I could see your face.

^
I felt like this stanza had real emotions from your heart.
Standing by her grave wishing she was here this day so you can see her face once again. Really powerful

A year or two ago,
You let your life come to an end.
I know you were deeply hurt inside.
I swear to god, it was you I wanted to mend.

^
Wow what can I say...
Let's start by saying wow!
Knowing her life had finally came to an end beause she was so hurt inside.
And you wanting to help her mend.. Rough emotions expressed in this stanza

Now I'm all alone.
Crying every night, looking at your picture.
I'm being beaten with a stone
I just wish you were here to talk too.

^^
I like the imagery this brings
Sitting by her picture wishing she was here to talk to.. Really strong

But you chose to stop it all.
End all of the hurt that you felt.
As I held you, I began to bawl.
Because I watched you, as your eyes went cold.

^
I could feel your emotions playing through my mind. Ending it because
Of her hurt and suffering. You holding her and starting to cry.

Because you watched her as her eyes went cold
^
What a beautiful way to end it

I love this poem it's so sad
The imagery this poem had is great
It's well structured darl

5/5 great job

X

Hmm. Your voice is clear again, and I feel the imagery is stronger here than in the last one I read. However, the originality isn't really there. Though, as a vent, that's not an issue. It seems like that's what this is, which is good I think.

The rhyme scheme to this felt really wonky, like every stanza had a different rhyme scheme. I don't mind if you change it up, and make it a rhyme scheme like

a
a
b
b
and then

a
b
a
b
or whatever, the point is I feel like you switched too much and it threw me off as I read it. The only other thing is that you don't need to capitalize the first letter of every word in a new line. Someone pointed that out to me recently as well, and I thought I'd share it because I think it makes sense. Of course, if the line preceding it ends with a period, then you would capitalize the first word in the next stanza.

This is reall sad!Nice poem.
Never give up!

This was terribly sad. beautiful write