Camouflaged Heart

I do like this one, and think it is also one of your best poems( for me anyway) x

Hannah, this is one of best i read frm u..
Tbh..lng distnce relationshp sucks.
It hurts wen d one whom we luv hs to leave us, evn is rsn is gud.
Bt it hurts.
Frm start to end, u made each line powered wid sadnes.
Whethr its abt disappearin of foggy 'i luv u' , last honk gudbye, cigarette aroma u gonna miss..
And my fav part is whr u added d days ..it realy touched my hrt dat u r evn counting evry single day..
And at last d way u said dat he is taking ur hrt wid him and u wil nvr be same until he return..

Typo on loathe.

I love your poems, Hannah. I'm sorry for not commenting as often as I should. I'd love to analyse and interpret this piece stanza by stanza but it's already beautiful and doing so won't add anything, plus I'm lacking time. :/ And I do agree with everything Sam has said.

I remember reading one of your first poems a few months ago, about the relationship of the persona and her husband/fiance (?) who was in the military. And I find a lot of connection and similarity here. This is either written through personal experience or fictitiously (since you write novels and all), but either way, you've managed to put a lot of emotions in this piece that it is believable and not at all cheesy or too far-fetched as most love poems are these days. I admire you for that.

Please, keep it up.

Hannah, I have wanted to comment on this for a long time now :) It is so beautiful, and I am amazed with how you come up with this :) I have never been one for love poems even though I did write one before, but yours makes me melt :) I think that your love poems are the best on this site, or at least in my eyes :] Beautiful.

'The drops on the window are a mixture of rain and tears,
the scribbled "I love you" is starting to fog,
soon to be washed away,
no longer visible to anyone but you and me.'

^ This is a beautiful beginning - it tells the reader that you deeply care for this person due to the 'I love you' on the window, and the way that you described that the drops were a mixture of rain and tears (obviously you care for this person, or the person in the poem does :P) It is also whimsical in a way, because it feels like a memory. I used to write on the windows all the time in our car :) I would 'huff' on the window so that it would get foggy and then write odd sayings or smiley faces...sorry, just thought that I would share :/

As you pull out the driveway you signal one last honk goodbye,
I'm so weak with heartache that I can't even raise my hand to wave,
my shoulders slump with agony and fear,
melancholy will fill my days without you.

^ The last three lines here are the strongest in this stanza, because it shows what the person is going though, and that is always good in a poem. Emotion always appeals to the reader, and you did it so beautifully. I can imagine what you are going through right now. Wonderfully written.

Cigarette aroma still lingers on my lips,
a taste I used to loath but will now miss.
I'm counting down the days until your return,
only 1,460 starting tomorrow.

^ This part made me melt, because I could feel the longing from that large number.

My heart is forever camouflaged in with your uniform,
so it can travel with you from ocean to ocean,
rainforests to deserts,
and all the way back home to me.

^ Typos: 'rainforests' should be two words, not one.
This part surprised me because of the way that you wrote about the camouflaged heart. It is wonderfully written, and I am amazed. I thought that it would be about something totally different. I don't really know what to say about this, except that it is my favorite part of the whole poem. How the person's heart is forever camouflaged within the uniform...wow.

Overall, this is a magnificent poem. I am sorry that this is a little late, but I have been wanting to comment on this one from when it came out, but I haven't exactly had the time. Time is avoiding me these days! Beautiful. This is going in my favorites :) Love your love poems.

Excellent
5/5

~S

Oh, another heartbreaking piece from you. Truly beautiful. Hopefully he will return safe and sound.

One minor critique:
Last stanza; first line;
'camouflaged in' - I don't think you need the 'in' there, I think it throws of the flow a bit.

5/5