Dreamscape

by Melpomene   Oct 18, 2012


The dip between her chin and
collar bone has mouths parted like
lips to oysters, flesh flushed and salty
as the last drip of wax slides down the
oil burner and falls asleep on her dressing
table. She's tangled in darkness, sheets
biting at her thighs as jasmine
dreamscapes perfume the air tonight.

-Written for Larry's challenge

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I knew this one was yours because of the tangled and oysters :)

    Here was my comment:

    The imagery in this poem is astounding. Whilst somewhat of a short piece, it creates such waves of vivid imagery throughout for the reader and I am a big fan of the "Like lips to oysters." I also like the "Tangled in darkness." This reminds me of two lovers totally enraptured with each other and lost to the rest of the world. The added thought of including scents within the poem is appreicated as it succeeds in adding such an overall contented feeling for me. Scents are always incredibly powerful and emotional within life and the author captures that by adding that last little detail in.

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, nice write, fantastic use of imagery. Keep up the great work.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Beautiful Mel! I love how you perfectly split the lines, how each word just flowed to the next....really enjoyed this write! I love how you used perfume, and described the whole ambiance of this poem. I too liked the oyster part! It was abstract yet made my thoughts remember and heed to this beauty & picture of the woman in my head. How she lays sleeping....and how virtuous it seems to watch her asleep, using lips like the oyster to accentuate. It was calming, the salty feel to it, like the ocean at night, and then I guess how natural this atmosphere is to this woman......Dreamscape is such a soothing word and title to encompass the poem.

    Amazing :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Oysters, very clever to drop that in there the food of love. And quite suggestive.
    Love the alliteration with 'flesh flushed' not something I see used much in poetry on here but really emphasises your point. The whole thing is very dreamy and suggestive, without actually showing us much, which works in this instance.
    You can almost smell the atmosphere of this, the burning candle and the jasmine reference help build the atmosphere.

  • 11 years ago

    by Decayed

    I knew it was yours :)

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