To win or to lose

by Poet on the Piano   Jan 4, 2013


Days ago she had something to say;
now the toilet seat has become a comfort
like sleeping on tablets made from stone.
She can't figure out why those who win think
they're gaining something, anything at all.

What about the ones who are the wordless tragedies,
the women and men who live with a structured breath
going in
out
and never faltering...

They're never written about, can't you understand?
No one thinks they're striving for room to grow
their wings because they have

(a parent, parents, a sibling, siblings,
confidence, order, status, spirituality
faith ---> a known dream)

Maybe torn out clumps of hair and tubs
of bleach and blood clotting drains and wrists
covered in desperation and ankles knowing
far too many bracelets,
and not enough of solid ground,
have entered their minds.

Yet they have never done this 'unthinkable,
disgusting, faraway deed'.
When they want to so pungently,
just so others will see they have an explanation
attached, an I-am-mentally-not-right-because-of-
my-fragile-heart-using-me-again-for-this-shit

Will you win with arms bare yet screaming inside
or will your scars show and shame remind you

you've lost everyone that ever
tried. to. love. you.

Written 1/4/2012 at 1:09 am

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    OMG, I can relate to this...I've pushed people away out of fear, out of self reliance, because I didn't want to lean on anyone, and relationships have been frayed, ruined because of it but you don't realise it until its too late. You got that through and the strength in this piece, like you are hammering it home, the importance of family and realising those who genuinely care.

    Such a thought provoking write here, full of emotion and quick paced and in your face poetry that is pure brilliance.

    Awesome x

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Maryanne, there you go again boggling my mind....this was so intense, so raw, so upfront. I loved it as always,but seriously!! I love the attitude you had in this write and I feel like that last question you raise is really thought provoking. Often times people struggling that do have people that love them and want to help but they push them away or block them out. Its sad and they need to wake up. Life is what we make of it.

    This was brilliant.

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