Shellfish

Judge comment:

The Huntress provided a really well, seemingly thought-out piece of poetry with this. I see it was for a challenge and I'm unsure if there was anything specific she had to write about, but regardless it's beautiful and touching. I love the metaphor of an oyster and the pearl and feel it was so well played out here. Huntress always has a vivid detail about her poetry that makes it so interesting and entertaining to read, and the capability to apply unique items and turn it into an every day thought it mind blowing. The ending blew me away as well with the drinking an oceans child. To be in her brain for five seconds would be magical, thats what these poems are. Well done!

Easy on me, girl. My birthday is ten days later and I'll probably spend it in the lab with my only friend, Lithium. :(

Cynnie,

I feel like the title was a play on words. You used 'shellfish' which is obviously a connection to the ocean and the overall descriptive theme throughout. However shellfish reminded me of the word selfish, which seemed to be a consistent message in this poem (I just noticed if you used the world selfish).

You referred to people as strangers, this and the curling of your fingers beneath the table cloth were signs of irritation/bitterness which I could sense in your tone. Obviously you had a lot of sadness swirling here but in a way I felt like the idea of being sad/heartbroken on your birthday came about because you weren't able to do something special, instead you were confined to your usually environment. It reminds me of having to work on your birthday.

At first I thought perhaps you were water sign hence your reference to an ocean's children, but if I remember correctly you're an air sign? I think the reference to the ocean is related much more to your environment.

I wasn't sure about the 'merely because' part. I think it changed the pace of the poem a little bit and I liked the way all witty images were just coming through very quickly. Obviously I'm just picking here because I can't really give you any constructive criticism, the poem is really one of my favourites from you.

"lips shrink" this right here reminded me of the old saying "loose lips sink ships", it was your use of alliteration throughout that also reminded me of it and again the ocean description. The pearl was a nice metaphor, very straight forward for you which I am not used to. I do know you're not masking and abstracting as much anymore so that's probably why it came as more of a surprise to me that you let your reader have a better understanding. I also liked how the pearl is symbolic of purity but also the fact that in ancient myths they were said to be the tears from mythical creatures (mermaids work well here).

Hopefully this all made sense, I'm writing comments in between as essay on hyper reality, you can imagine how muddled my mind is right now :P

Mel

I'm quite surprised yet truly impressed at how you used this challenge! Pearls really make me think of innocence, which would clearly make so much sense with birthdays, and how with each one perhaps they become less meaningful to us but most importantly I do feel like as we grow older we lose our innocence.

Even though we may lose a bit of our innocence, I feel like we also gain wisdom and such. The important things in life. I really just love how you used shellfish, it literally works so well with your concept here, it's a perfect metaphor with much meaning.

Well done! :)

Are you kidding me? I'm so glad I didn't end up able to participate, because there is no way I could've remotely compared to this.

What an interesting spin... I don't think anyone but you could come up with something so quirky yet with such a meaningful message. Your poetry seems so off the wall sometimes but the metaphor and storyline is always so moving and genuine once you break down and really focus on things other than the images.. which are just fantastic by the way.

I have a special connection to pearls, so this really felt close to me. I love how the idea of selfishness flows through here - to me it felt like people, in celebration, will step on toes and do what they feel they should do (make dumb choices maybe) because they can. I have a family member who routinely makes awful decisions on her birthday and says "but it's my birthday". Probably too literal, but it instantly made me think of that.

Losing another pearl is such a beautiful yet sad image/line here. Another pearl gone, another year done, another day closer to the end. This poem really hit home to me for some reason.. I just can't stop reading it.