Indie

by JaneDoeWrites   May 3, 2013


I once wrote that
you were the joy in my writes
as I chiseled your name onto
the stone I called a heart,

I was a statuette
and in my suffering,
you were the pigeon.

---------

Well tell me babe,
who's been keeping score?
My scorn is an inward growing
umbilical cord-
and I'm full of starving myself
from this tasteless life,
where tradition moves onward
from husbands and wives...

Where lovers like me
more often are wasted away
by the surreal fantasies preached
of better days, and
broken artists abandon brushes
and trash all their paints,
because we're taught that this is love
but to artists,

it ain't.

I dreamt love was unspeakable
and yet it spoke a thousand tongues,
it was an electromagnectical current
swaying forth the movement
of the lungs,

where horizons were places you could
move to stay, never having to look back-
where I could build my bed on stars
and not be scared of black...

anymore.

But I'm forced to reconsider
those thoughts and all their power,
realizing I'm a real-life Petrosinella residing
in a windowless tower,

and I'm terrible at Italian, singing "the colors
of the sky, they always bleed"
searching for my yellow bird,
and realizing
that bird was never freed.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, what an amazing write!

    I had to laugh a little, because it started off so sad, and so powerful, with that image of your heart being so cold from the pain of being let down and betrayed, onto the imagery of a pigeon pooing on your head as a statue! That was so clever, and although it is not nice, it did make me smile at the creativity of this metaphor! Well done for the use of that, it was pulled off nicely and created a great point!

    But the rest of the poem is amazing too, and I like the flow of it, it all runs smoothly and your descriptive metaphors are really unique and vivid, which all helps emphasise the story of the poem.

    Great work girl.

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, what an amazing write!

    I had to laugh a little, because it started off so sad, and so powerful, with that image of your heart being so cold from the pain of being let down and betrayed, onto the imagery of a pigeon pooing on your head as a statue! That was so clever, and although it is not nice, it did make me smile at the creativity of this metaphor! Well done for the use of that, it was pulled off nicely and created a great point!

    But the rest of the poem is amazing too, and I like the flow of it, it all runs smoothly and your descriptive metaphors are really unique and vivid, which all helps emphasise the story of the poem.

    Great work girl.

  • 10 years ago

    by Lemon

    This is beautiful! The flow of it, the vocabulary, everything.

    You rock ;)

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    I find in this poem sadness so much tone of sadness. I loved the vocabulary in this too. I really think it works well in the right spots. Yet the rest of the poem has a simplistic style that is touching. I have found in a lot of your poems you always seem to introduce us to the characters and the story you are about to tell and I really like that because it truly builds up to what you write about. There could be here a couple different meanings at least to me.

    I think we all have love inside ourselves and sometimes it's hard to find because it's under a lot of things. This poem really is great because of the metaphor useage. But I think this time it goes deeper than that. I loved the use of colour and all the combo of things to write your point. I also think there are a lot of stories that are being told which I personally like because the view point is lovely and it adds more imagery to everything. I think in all of your poems the ending is always the strongest point. Of course it is here too lol. We all want to be free and I loved the use of the bird here. It feels like our emotions can be trapped and thats how I imagine this bird is. Trapped inside a cage but never giving up hope. Overall the message is so great. Outstanding.

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    LOL at the comment above...Can imagine you with a beard! :)

    This my dear, is breathtakingly beautiful...such great imagery and perfect flow throughout.
    Waiting on Andrea to read this, I know she'll love it!

    Amazing :)

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