If I Stay [Prose]

by The Queen   Jun 16, 2013


.

This world has turned its back on me and I am in urgent need of a much higher dosage of reasons, of sanity. You see, as a child, I was meant to shine; make my mama cry, basically telling me how proud she is of me.

Fifteen years have passed.
Fifteen long, under-the-limelight years,

since the birth of Stella and its overexposed world view.

Little did they know, I was meant to shine but when I tried, it was only blackness that met my eyes. A lonesome skyscraper that weeps at night; devoid of wilderness and hungry hyenas, and chattering tourists and the clicking of cameras, though, I'm pretty sure, nothing will be left unnoticed even as they retire to their beds; wives, husbands, children, all sound asleep.

Like a lovelorn doll stricken, with tell-tale tears and attention spans; rebels and rockers, tabloids and medics, everyone gets more than their fair share
of me.

I too had a heart like that of an Aries man, once filled with oxygen-rich blood. Sometimes I can still feel my blood pumping through my head, and through my arm as translucent red
drips
off
of
my sandpaper-like wrist.

Some say, I am yet to shine.
Please somebody,
tell mama

it's not yet time to cry.

---
*For PJ* Keep your head up!

*Written for FOP Challenge [Thanks, Cynnie] - [Pain]

Copyright (C) 2013 by EvanescentMoon.
08.06.13

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    "This is truly a beautiful piece of writing, and it was a refreshing read because it was unlike anything I have read before. The imagery and emotion dictated throughout this is really astounding and I can't help but feel the pain behind the words. This is written in such an elegant way throughout and I thoroughly enjoyed it."

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Comment from Round 1 of FOP contest:
    [This was one of my top favorites as well when reading/judging!]

    Everything in this poem caught my eye, especially with how tangible your feelings were. I felt like I was sitting down, reading your words and listening to your thoughts, and feeling them build and build until you are give all the energy you have to scream. The end is like the end of day, or the end of your strength where you just plead "please somebody, tell mama it's not yet time to cry". This poem just left my heart torn. You made it personal and appealed to the emotions speaking of your mama, how on this journey of fifteen years, it hasn't been enough. You are disappointed, shameful, but still learning how to shine. It does take time. Life may not be in our favor all the time and we may hold onto our fears too long, but we are still alive and have a whole lifetime ahead of us. Such a provoking, surreal write!

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    MYRYN.

    I should've known this was you but I guess I read through it too fast the first time through lol. This was my favorite of all the entries. I almost wrote about sandpapered knees, lol, so I'm glad I didn't! This is really beautiful. I love the part about retiring... husbands/wives/children all asleep.

    There is a simple tone to this piece that wreaks of pain, and that's obviously perfect for the topic of challenge. You always find a really interesting way of writing on topics and making it feel so absolutely relatable. This is BEAUTIFUL.

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