My Brother (The Milk Boy)

My brother had a milk run
at the age of eight...
that would make me
five years old and yet...
I was left on guard
of his cart as he ran up
three flights of stairs
to place the ordered bottles
at each door...

- my first thought after reading the opening was just how much things have changed, children used to be safer out on the streets and even in the care of not much older siblings and relatives. This straight away set the time period for me, compared to now where it feels like children are unsafe to be unattended anywhere! I think it also shows how much children helped back then with work, to contribute to the family.

People were desperate back then
and would take the milk if
left...I was five years old
what was I possibly going to do?

- Again I think this shows the different way of life back then, I mean to think of someone being desperate for milk, that wouldn't happen much now in working families, we consider it a basic need now a days. I also like how you portray yourself as this tiny little girl that would not know a thing about protecting herself, or the milk, yet somehow it seemed to keep thieves away.

The bakery also delivered back then
and...while I was waiting (and guarding)
my tummy would rumble
at the smell of freshly baked rolls
also being delivered

but...I couldn't steal them
much as I wanted to!

- I adore the scene I got here, somehow it took me to Italy, but perhaps because I always imagine fresh made bread and bakeries in this country. I can imagine the smell of fresh bread making you feel really hungry and giving you temptations to steal just a tiny piece!

It was a sin to steal...and

we had to go to chapel
right after the milk was
delivered...

- I like how you set the daily routine here and describe to the reader exactly how it was, I think this is really important here because religion doesn't seem to be important in many countries any more.

My brother, having made his
first communion
had to fast for three hours
to be able to have the
body of Christ
I was too young for that
but
I, came out on his side
and fasted too
I was five years old...

- I would change the comma here, remove it from after I, and place it instead after too.

and...

as we finally put the cart
at the back of the co-op shop
he tried his best to re-tie
the sash on the back of my dress
and we went into chapel together
both with growling tummies...

- this made me think of how obedient children were then, compared to now, I don't imagine for a second they would have complained to anyone about their hunger or that that would throw any sort of tantrum like you would see now.

I remember the priest
looking at my polished
but scuffed shoes
with a certain disdain
then holding my gaze

and...

As my eyes lowered
I knew he had guessed
we had no pennies for
the plate...

- nice way to end, reinforcing the message of just how scarce money was back then and how the family would see even bread and milk as a luxury to be able to have.

I do enjoy your poems that make you think of different generations and ways of life back then.

I read this yesterday and didn't know quite how to comment.... now, I'm sitting here thinking, why has no one else commented?

This was very interesting for me to read and I like how you tied your thoughts in together. Seemed like it could be a poem, but that you didn't focus on structure or flow, just on the memory itself. Loved how clearly I could picture this, and I like how you both, so young, are connected through this milk run. Almost like he is your guardian now because you aren't old enough to be on your own, especially going to chapel and having this routine together.

I have a few scenes in my head that come back to me or memories I never really probed before, but when I relive it in my mind, I realize things I never took time to think about before.

Also got a strong sense of the mind of a child, choosing between right and wrongs, and little delights like baked bread or fresh cold milk in a jar, what that would mean... you and your brother are tempted, but continue on with the rumbling stomachs, knowing right now you don't have the cents to pay for them.

Neat write Hellon, glad you could share!