The Pain of Your Smile

I really like this poem. That I can see it from different perspectives, and that no matter how I read it, it touches me. you write such deep poetry :)

I agree with Beautiful Soul here, the "will" in the first and last stanza should be "would" - this will help the flow and the tense of the poem.

I like how you opened with the stanza that you ended with, I often do this myself, and enjoy reading poems that have this pattern. I think it opens with a point, tells a bit of a story in the middle, and then ends with a reminder of the point you began with.

I think you used the smile well, it emphasises that sometimes when we remember people, good or bad memories, it isn't always words that we remember. It can be the smallest of things, which seem so big now, like a smile.

I also think you described well the lingering of the smile, how it seems to be in your house, and bring heaviness into it, meaning you can never escape from it. Like it is always in your mind, and the memory of that smile, leads you to memories of that person, that you shared with them.

I think it is so sad that a smile, which should be happy, and leave happy thoughts and memories, could be changed into something that brings grief. The contrast here is so huge. I believe it shows that when we lose someone, and people tell us to hold onto the good memoires of that person, this often becomes impossible and the memories always remind us that we no longer have that person. I feel this truly explains the process of loss, whether the person has died, or just went their separate ways. The pain of loss always remains.

Occasions of you
captured and framed,

- I got the image here of photographs lying around the house, perhaps on fireplaces, or on the wall etc. But these captured an occasion with this person, and you find yourself looking at them even more, and cherishing something that we probably walked past every day without looking anymore.

Deep write.

Www dear very nice.

Emotional and raw, lovely , sad , love is hard

don

I didn't know
your smile
will bring an onslaught
of pain,
this line shows your pain and how much you severely suffered, memories become pain if we missed our loved one.
I think no end for this poem..
once again you penned well.

take care meena