Before I even looked at the picture I just kept thinking that I wanted to be there and ride the Dragon. =P
I didn't want the poem to end. It's so beautiful, somehow peaceful. I was definitely transported to a different place.
Thankyou Natasha for participating in this challenge! (yours was my favourite hence I nominated :) )
The mystic forest is my dwelling.
I love how you began with a statement - so succinct in directing the reader into the scenery and setting of your poem as well as hinting to the reader what this poem will be about! I also like the word mystic here - beautiful touch.
It's amongst the tall spindles of evergreens,
And the mysterious silver light of the half moon,
where I take sanctuary.
This part reminds me of a treasure map - describing in such detail the directions to the red marked cross - the reader here can vividly see these descriptions as clearly as an illustrator drawing a picture on paper - your words have such powerful meaning that they make this poem so effective!
The old wise oak spreads her deep long roots...
Entwined between the moss riddled earth
and mother nature's crisp breath of air.
I can see this tree so well in my mind - I love trees like that :)
My favourite part of this line is mother nature's crisp breath of air - amazingly structured and pieced together!
Whistled winds play,
as the enchanting spectacle of autumn leaves begin to dance.
Naughty nymphs play with the power of the equinox,
creating a bridge of colourful light connecting our two skies.
It is amazing, so far that you have only begun to bring in characters of the nymphs, that before this you were describing the parts of nature - sort of providing the reader on a tour guide passage through this poem and this mystic surrounding that comes to life through your words. You just have gripped me throughout the piece so far that I am just motionlessly following each word letting it guide me to this creature that we are all yearning to know.
I see her...
This is where all we are waiting for draws near - the climax and pivot point of the poem - what is this creature who lives here?
I sit up, adjust my wings...
whilst patting my claw with my tail.
Here you provide clues of wings, claws and a tail and the word dragon rolls off the tip of my subconscious tongue!
Its my rider, in all her glory...
swaddling in light...
I like how you are the dragon - first person perspective - you display your emotions briefly here as you are happy to see your rider coming near and there is this air of respect and admiration as you highlight her as glorious and swaddling in light and that she is waiting for you - like it is something that you have been waiting for most of your life!
It is time...
Beautiful 3 worded line - so effective and impactful - explaining so much in so little words!
I spread my rose coloured mother of pearl, shimmering wings...
And fly towards the magnificent bridge...
Amazing descriptions of the wings and I personally love the symbolisms of bridges in poetry!
Let this adventure begin.
Powerful way to end this piece!
I have read in one of your comments that you used to write children's books before poetry writing I would love to read some as you take enchantment to another level!
I like this. I love stories. It makes me feel like a kid ... and I want to grab a bag of popcorn and shower them with salsa valentina and just enjoy the story while eating them
7 years ago
by Beautiful Soul
Omfg!!!! This is so immense and beautifully designed. The lengths you take our imagination, (the readers) and take it on such a wonderful journey. As Andrea said, I could see the colors shining brightly throughout the whole poem. Like a perfect dream. The forest's are such great dwellings to find peace in. As you can go on many adventures and never truly know what you will find. I know what picture this was as I used it too heh. But to describe the scene outside of the picture was a great idea, you can definitely see it as being through the dragon's eyes, and everything they see. What a unique spun on things. Beautiful work him. Nominated without a doubt. 5/5