Workshop

by Sincuna   Feb 26, 2015


I didn't know if I could go through it all at first glance.
The early stanzas bursting with perplexity
as if the author used Picasso's brush to write the poem;
staring at me with those cryptic eyes.
Somewhat telling me, that the speaker
is now weeping shamefully at her own thoughts.
Or is it blame?
I can't really tell just yet.

Though somewhere along the middle, I was impressed
when she described losing her father to cancer
like losing a watch in the ocean.
And I particularly liked the metaphor;
especially how it fused with the lines before.
How she tried to keep his flame alive,
taking care of him throughout the burning years.
As if it were her own two hands
ticking the clock, slowly plunging
to the bottom of the sea
by the gravity of the situation.

But someone in class objected the ending, asked
if maybe the speaker could've done something more;
perhaps thrown herself into the ocean to retrieve it back.
Another person stood up
and argued that she could easily have asked the help
of the passing fishermen, which was mentioned
in the beginning, and do whatever it takes
to salvage what was lost.

At this point the poet, whom I learned later on
was now an orphan, fell back to her seat; beat.
The class jeering. Until she cried,
almost to herself, that the girl in the poem
could not do what they asked
because she was also trapped
inside a terrible storm;
that she didn't even know how to swim.
That the fishermen did not care enough
about what sank down to the ocean floor,
and that she was more afraid
of drowning herself,
than saving a watch
that was already broken.

8


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Sincuna

    Ladies, I haven't read through your comments yet (since I'm prepping up) but I assure you it's alright. It's about a debate of some sort, it's symbolic of the poem. :)

  • 7 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Mister...i assure you i'm not crazy.. :p
    Its just that me and sweet luce here have a tendency to debate in a peaceful manner most of the time...we like healthy debates...

    Oh well...i don't really remember if I told this before...but umm...awesome poem..like always :p ....no wonder I nominated it when ever I nominated it ;p t

  • 7 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Sweet luce,

    but do you really think doubting is always beneficial???
    I mean, if you doubt your own abilities, do you really think you'll reach anywhere...i contradict what you say....if you doubt then you'll stay stuck...because when you doubt you're own abilities you won't have the will nor the power to move forward...you'll just start losing hope if you doubt...and I guess even you know hope is the only thing along with faith that keeps you going and moving...and if you doubt these very things well then...you are not going to move ahead...
    Secondly, what if you doubt something in a relationship.umm...lets take our friendship.imagine if I doubt whether you like me or are just pretending to be my friend or you just hate me..if I doubt such things I will not trust you any more...and when there is doubt firstly,i hardly think any body comes forward and asks you and gets there doubt clarified..and secondly, if they do approach you, well they had their doubts on the beginning they still have it now no matter what your answer will be...they will more just doubt whether you were truthful to them or lying...
    Don't you think doubts create miss understandings??? And then they devastate the friendship, relationship, whatever it be....i've had friends with whom I fell out because well there were doubts...it just never mended although I tried to...
    Don't you think doubt is the basis of the betrayal of the basic human trust????
    Although I do see that you did mention followed by communication as an important factor...but look practically or maybe some past experiences, how many people communicate?? Doubt is common, communication is rare...and just asking people to communicate, you cannot get them to get back in such a way...doubts just sow the seeds of more doubts ..it is doubt that is more like a cycle...there is no end to it...
    Ummm.... That is what I really feel...

  • 7 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Sorry Aussi, I'm also replying to Purvi in your poem. Actually Purvi, I strongly believe that everyone should doubt but not doubt just to doubt and to cause harm. A positive attitude will help one reach where on wishes to get to, but if one doesn't doubt at least for a bit, we wouldn't get anywhere. We would be stucked in the same cycle. It is through the process of doubting and communicating the doubt, that our points of views become stronger and that we can achieve more clarity in life. We become more open minded. I have had doubts about doubting but oh dear doubting is a good thing If it's followed by communication.

    Though to whom to communicate the doubt, hmm... follow our intuition.

    Edit: I like the complexity of your poem Aussi. I thought I had commented on it.

  • 7 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Luso.

    ..you should never have doubts...if you work and do everything to get somethingand then there emerges a small doubt in your mind...that's it...all your work will be in vain...you will not get anything....so never have doubts.
    Ihave a strong belief in the power of attraction.what one believes says does thinks dreams of...that is what they will ultimately achieve. You think you are useless you will be useless, and if you think you are awesome you will be awesome.... This is kind of the secret of life..and I believe it and have tried it and achieved it too...
    If you are in a hot pursuit to achieve something but still you have doubts that you won't achieve it..well you won't achieve it that's it...because you doubt it.

    So Never doubt anything And always aim fore the stars....the saying "aim for the stars you will at least reach the sky" in my opinion is wrong....if you aim for the stars and are confident, your will achieve and reach the stars..why should you get something less??
    The whole universe helps you to achieve something if you want to achieve it...this is the law of nature.

    P.s. Sorry ...just used your poems comment to tell some thing to luce :p

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