G.I. Jane likes to Jog (on her own)

by Hellon   Apr 23, 2016


Customised knife
blade, sharpened to perfection
lightweight...discreet,
just the way I ordered.

Fits inside my bra
cool on the skin but...
comfy nonetheless,
my protection.

I like to jog you see
while most of you sleep,
pounding concrete.
why?...insomnia.

but...

There is always company
unwanted...mostly
"Nice sweats" (completely pissed me off)
Leave me alone!).

pace quickens...panting now...

"What time do you have?"
startling voice from the shadows

He never saw it coming

Me? well...I never wear a watch...

CREEP...

26th June 2008

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A tentative hello from me.

    I had to comment on this piece.
    It's crap.
    Just kidding.

    This really is a chilling piece of work. The short sharp points being relayed to the reader are almost cold, so annoyed is the jogger with what has gone and what she knows will almost certainly come again. Premeditated almost...
    This whole piece reminds me of a girl pf about 14-15 I see walking through the woods each day where I take my dogs. She has a dog too, but I cannot help worrying for her. The same thought annoys me immensely - I have a daughter, and why shouldn't she grow up being able to jog at night/walk in the woods simply because she is a girl? Well, the answer is in your poem: Creeps.
    What I found particularly - and wonderfully - ironic, is that this person didn't see it coming because it was concealed in that most womanly piece of clothing.....the bra.

    A very clever and original piece of writing.

    All the best
    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    As a woman we need to be able to defend ourselves against any harm. I love walking but you have to be on alert, keep your ears and eyes wide open and one hand in the pocket. It's sad but it happens. Love the way you expressed it here. Take care

  • 7 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Loved it. I'm all for women's self defence.

    This poem leaps immediately into portrayal of a strong woman in control. Sharp customised knife, discreet light weight just as she ordered. A woman who knows how to take care of herself and is familiar with the weapon against her skin.

    Doing what she likes to do, jogging, keeping her body fit but also because she cant sleep
    Maybe she's experienced things that prevent her from sleeping, perhaps even a
    military background but is now trying to fit in and have a normal life.

    She's attractive, men don't understand that attractive women get fed up by the constant and unwanted attention. The leering "Nice sweats" comments is always annoying like the "Ello Darlin" that used to permeate from every building site before it became viewed as sexist.

    Getting into her rhythm enjoying her run and the stupid comment

    "What time do you have?"
    When clearly she didn't have a watch was justification.
    CREEP... a brilliant summing up of all that had been leading to that moment.

    Loved the story and dynamic imagery and for the way it portrayed a strong woman in control of her life (sorry had to come back and vote forgot to hit the vote button lol very well done)

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    I remember this one. It is brilliant in the way it builds the layers in quick succession.

    The bespoke weapon,

    The placement of said weapon, convenient whilst exercising

    suggestible unstable mental health (insomnia side effects)

    The leering sexist comment

    The aggravation and fear

    The surprised voice asking the time

    The unspoken stabbing - really works well - did she/ didn't she?

    The admission of never wearing a watch

    and finally, the sneering 'CREEP' works well, like 'he bloody deserved it'

    Thanks for sharing this well formatted poem.

    Lovely work.

    Take care,

    Michael