A battle within

This is really well written, rhymes and meter are spot on and I like the way you have presented this write particularly the affirmations - it shows a strength and I think that people who have been through this type of thing in their life can relate to it and feel better after reading it that they are not the only one....i hope that makes sense.

Ben

Hello Naomi,

The subject matter 'domestic violence' DV is a harsh one. I realise that DV is a clever masked metaphor for alcoholism, but it does show the similar symptoms: the needy relationship. The self neglect as thee abuse continues.

Historically marital abuse was known, in fact encouraged. Husbands were supposed to keep order within their household, and that entailed using violence. A women seen to have their own opinion would bee perceived as a weakness. I seem to remember reading somewhere that a man was allowed by law to hit his wife, as long as the stick he used was no thicker than his thumb. *I've just researched this fact and its a myth - it actually states, he can hit his wife with a stick, as long as its a small one!! - that's okay then! *

Anyway, I digress slightly. The trouble is nowadays this previous right by law has somehow, in some men holds true. It maybe that they watched their mother get beaten, who remained silent because she too witnessed her mother get beaten in a time when it was acceptable. And of course alcohol would have played a wicked part.

Now it is widely unacceptable, and so many women (and men too) speak out; if not to the police, then in poetry, like this. What makes this poem significant, is the fact that where alcoholism now happens behind closed doors. A dirty secret, that is all too often kept away from others.

Your poem works well. It draws the attention to one of the common effects of self abuse - the tears, the emotional and painful result of the emotional pain that can only be masked by numbing the pain with substance, such as alcohol. The awful thing is, the alcohol is hook that prevents the escape. The chains that incarcerate the victim; controls them in a web of need.

Your poem takes the reader in the first tense through a cycle. It is clear that this is not the first, that it has become a battle between two. A battle of the bottle - the bottle that mocks her, telling her she is weak, worthless and drinking him is the only way out of this life.

Naomi - the ramble above hopefully shows that abuse has similar symptoms, but can derive from an array of different sources.

The pain that is being masked needs to be aired, shared and understood for what it is, bad memories from a naïve time. Once the pain has reduced, the need for alcohol will reduce too. It sounds simple, but of course its not. But, trying to 'get better' is always the right thing to do. You are worth it!

Take care ((hugs)) xx

You not only told a story of a soul struggling to overcome but have penned it well with perfect rhymes. Its reads like this which pulls the reader into the writer's world..mind and the ever ending sadness...take care.

N. I hope you're ok
The writes where we just need to write are usually put best. Great rhyming and story.

Em

A dark and well rhymed poem, Naomi. In my opinion, your flow and understanding of rhyme is getting better and better.

Well done and all the best,

Ben