Where are you now?

Where are you now? (A poem about Dementia)

I’ve tried to find out where you go, when you present that vacant stare
You smile at me like you are lost, and look around, but no one’s there?
I talk to you and try in vain, to get my loving words all through
But all you do is look past me and talk no sense, what can I do?
Although us two are holding hands, just like we did in times gone by
When we would lay amongst the trees, and swear our Love would never die
And how we’d always be in Love and never leave each other’s side
I feel so cheated, you’re still here, but you have gone, it’s like you lied?

My warm embrace surrounds you still, my Love for you can never die
But anger now invades my grief, that you have left me? I ask ‘Why?’
Dementia, it has took your mind, destroys you more each passing day
I want to try and turn back time, for when you knew me, that I pray
But I must soldier on alone, my grief and torment mine to bear
I must be strong and try to smile, as I live daily with despair
There is no cure for this disease, that has inflicted on your mind
And took away the one I knew, and leaves you empty, so unkind

You were my soulmate in this life, my shadow that was always near
My anchor in this wondrous life, a touchstone that would calm my fear
But now confused and blank you sit, a shell of what you used to be
And me your nurse all night and day, to keep you safe, no life for me
And yet we used to laugh and love, you said you’d love me ‘till you died
But then that thief it robbed your mind, and you were gone, how much I’ve cried!
Just how can God Him be so cruel and leave me lost without my friend?
We thought that we would always ‘be’, that we’d get through right to the end?
I miss you more than words could say, I watch you daily, your demise
Your memories all closing down, I see it all through tear stained eyes

So as I lay upon my bed, I write these words and softly weep
I pray to God that he will come, and take us both whilst we both sleep
Then we can live in His sweet realm, with you restored all back to me
Dementia gone, your old self back, and you’ll be mine… for eternity…