Clutching to a memory

by deeplydesturbed   Jun 13, 2017


Lonely nights filled with darkness
shadows swiftly move across the room
Silence so loud my head is pounding
I wish for the days I could take off anywhere
I miss your never ending light

The way you enveloped me
like a mother to her newborn child
holding me close as I poured my heart and soul
letting the tears spring freely upon your blanket of love
I miss our never ending hugs

The memories of you are engraved in my heart
my body, mind and soul
At the time I didn't realise you were my kryptonite
You were the one failing me in a world of lonliness and longing
I miss the taste of you on my lips

Today is a day I would come home
and cherish our time together
Spend it savouring every second with you
Until I fell asleep in your arms
I miss how you made me feel whole for a second

Without being in the clutches of you
I realise I did this to myself
You were my addiction
Making me my own worst enemy
I miss how you made me feel free

In the last few weeks I have been realeased
from the clutches of your beauty
I realise I dont miss how you made me feel weak
Like I had to depend on you for everything
I miss everything you did for me

However now that I am free
I realise I don't miss you at all

6


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Lucifer

    Addictions are always hard to quit.
    Drinking is not easy to quit, still the tough one is love itself!

  • 2 years ago

    by Maher

    "However now that I am free
    I realise I don't miss you at all"

    I know that feeling, though not with alcohol lol. This is really good though. It feels like strings are being tensioned and are snapping one by one, in a good way. Real nice :)

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks SC :) As always I appreciate the feedback! And thank you for heloing with some of the words! :)
      Seriously. I am not always correct with wording, so it's a huge help! :)

      xx

    • 2 years ago

      by Maher

      Lol it was only one word

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Shhh.. i still appreciate it all :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    N, I read this and thought this person or thing had a real hold on to especially with the way you described how it/they made you feel and I was completely gripped from start to finish the only complaint is it seemed to end to soon (not abruptly) as I wanted to read more so I read it again them read your comment and realised just how personal and difficult this write is so I thank you and also admire you for being so strong and sharing.

    Much love,
    Em

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you Em!
      Much love back!! Sorry it wasnt enough. I was going to do more however as you stated it was difficult. The more i wrote about it the more i felt i wanted a drink. So i ended it :)

      I may do another soon!! Im just struggling with it all today but i shall get there! :)
      Love you too xxx

    • 2 years ago

      by Em

      N, I totally understand but you are strong and I have faith in you.

      <3 <3

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Em xxxx

  • 2 years ago

    by Michael

    Nicely penned Miss DD

    Time with ourselves allows healing process, but it's certainly not an easy time :)

    Much warmth

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Nams, an honest write. We can be with someone or something and never stop to get a close enough look of how much damage they or it is doing to us. It's not until we are free from this person that you gain perspective. You really hit home with this-well done my friend-

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Brenda,
      However, it's not actually a person. It's alcohol. I struggle still at times, but I am begining to realise I am doing the right thing. Maybe one day I will pick up a glass again, but for now I shall stay sober..

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