Changing Paths

by deeplydesturbed   Jul 3, 2017


Weekends are becoming difficult to bear
The smile on my face is getting harder to wear
It’s almost as if I’ve lost my flair
I’ve decided I can no longer share

The path I have chosen can’t be right
Maybe it’s time to go out at night
This is no longer a fair fight
My thirst is consuming my minds light

If I was to turnaround and run
Back to where the crossroads begun
Would I regret it before the light of the sun
Rose up at the end of the nights fun

Why am I still waking up in a sweat?
Why can’t I just do what I want without regret?
Why is alcohol such a threat?
When did I begin to fret?

I live my life in shadows, in fear
I can no longer even look at beer
Let alone have wine near
This is something I will persevere.

5


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Nams, another powerful write. Nicely rhymed through out. Now, onto the heart of this. Every single day you don't drink is a victory. Take those victories, you earned them. Have you started changing your habits on the weekends? If you start doing something totally different that keeps your mind off the drinking it should help. We are all rooting for You! Hugs-

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Brenda,
      At the moment however, i have been trying to keep things as normal as possible.. silly i know considering - however im in a routine where the anxiety is under control... i dont think i could deal with that as well at the moment haha

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    This hits me hard!

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Em - I realise your in your own struggles at the moment. If you ever wanna chat.. im here.

  • 2 years ago

    by Phil

    There will be ups and downs and as with any addiction times will be testing.. I have an eating disorder I am trying to overcome and its like an addiction of my own figure and my own mind seems to be controlling me and once we are no longer controlled and have taken control we will do this. I personally think you've overcome the worse of it. Good luck in coming over the tallest mountain., just remember the horizon is usually clearer and much more beautiful when it isn't masked with darkness.

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you Phil. I wish you all the best in your struggles. If you need a chat, always here..

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    As Ren says, keep your eyes on the horizon, Naomi - keep them on the initial goal. Change is never easy and can sometimes feel like a backward step. But keep trudging through the snow, and things will get easier in time.

    All the best as ever,

    Ben

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Benny,
      Just a few struggles, ill survive. At least im writing instead of drinking! :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Ren

    Another deeply raw and emotional write! The road to healing is never easy, and some days it may even seem impossible, but do not fret! There are better days ahead, even if it doesn't feel like it. Keep your eyes on the horizon, hon, and don't look back, because every day is a chance to start new...just like the sun rising with a new dawn. It's a rough road that you're on, but one you'll find falling further and further behind you as you continue forward, and it'll get smoother with the more steps you take. Don't lose hope. <3 So much love and healing to you!

    • 2 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Im getting there babe. I just struggle some days, especially the stressful ones.

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