Absolute Me

by ddavidd   Nov 27, 2018


"You have to burn in order to shine"
_ this was a burning moth susurrating

"That is why my stomach burns
when I drink vodka"
_ it was me susurrating

"But you promised me to quit"
_ this was she, within me, susurrating

" I shall quit on burning
when I am all shine,
the day
the only thing left of me
is you"
_ it was the burning moth, in me, susurrating

**

from those days I use to drink a lot "Vodka Absolute"

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Sajal Ahmed

    Nicely pinned!

  • 5 years ago

    by Everlasting

    “I shall quite on burning“

    Is it quite or quit on the last stanza?

    • 5 years ago

      by ddavidd


      Thanks Luceio I was sure I corrected that.

  • 5 years ago

    by D.

    Ahhh, sussurating is such a wonderful word. I find it’s overuse here detrimental to the poem. If I read the last stanza first, I would say it’s enough. A beautifully poignant ending that is undermined slightly by its beginning, beyond the quotations.

    I feel the poem could be a lot stronger, as the speech carries it so well! A great meaning and message too.

    • 5 years ago

      by ddavidd

      Thank you dear Prince for your words of wisdom.

  • 5 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Oh my goodness!

    I'm speechless, its poems like this that hit home for me my friend, what a powerful poem!

    • 5 years ago

      by ddavidd

      Thank you sweet Maple
      Hugs

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