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by Hellon Aug 1, 2019
Life, society /
greedy depression steals
last grain of reality from
confused mind lost to the hour-glass effect
merging as one dark thought
@Hellon 11th October 2015
by Tony Grannell
Out of the greed and into the nothing in a splendid poetic portrayal of reality bitten. How you end and begin with, 'empty' is perfect. Very well done indeed.
There’s lots of clever wording here. Not an easy form to write well. The title is witty, as is describing depression as greedy.
Distracts and halts the poem a little. I think words like ‘perhaps’ and ‘maybe’ remove a lot of surety from a poem, and don’t often work.
That’s just one line though! An apt choice of form, and enjoyable read.
I like how you described depression as being greedy, and how you connected it with the hour-glass effect. It works really well. The form fits your poem and word choice so perfectly. I really love this :)