Reality Bites (Rictameter)

by Hellon   Aug 1, 2019


Empty
life regressing
greedy depression steals
last grain of reality from
confused mind lost to the hour-glass effect
Illusion...perhaps...Delusion
merging as one dark thought
before draining
empty.

@Hellon 11th October 2015

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Latest Comments

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    There’s lots of clever wording here. Not an easy form to write well. The title is witty, as is describing depression as greedy.

    “Illusion...perhaps...Delusion”

    Distracts and halts the poem a little. I think words like ‘perhaps’ and ‘maybe’ remove a lot of surety from a poem, and don’t often work.

    That’s just one line though! An apt choice of form, and enjoyable read.

  • 2 months ago

    by Star

    I like how you described depression as being greedy, and how you connected it with the hour-glass effect. It works really well. The form fits your poem and word choice so perfectly. I really love this :)