Holes

You always had me
scratching at the dirt-
clawing my way
ever so deeper,
looking for a way out-
-
Being with you
I stopped looking up-
never realizing
the way to the light
was up, not down-
-
I lived in these holes
of my own doing-
by allowing you
the control,
doubting my self-worth,
losing more of me
each day-
-
I dug deep
until I just couldn't -
my fingers cracked and bleeding,
my heart flat lining,
our "love" dying -
Dying this sad little death
time to look up again-
-
Time to realize that
both the sun and the moon
will illuminate the path
I need to take-
time to fully understand
I need that light
in order to grow,
to flourish,
to love again-
-
I don't scratch at the dirt anymore-
those holes long abandoned
I can look back
in those dark days now
without losing sight
of the me I've become-
you no longer control me,
no longer tear apart
my heart.
Never will I allow you
the ability
to put me back
in that hole...