The first few minutes after
you open your eyes in the morning
are dedicated to make this decision.
The rain is falling outside,
a few drops cling to your window.
You write your name with
a warm finger. The cheerful
sound of people outside running,
and talking, and laughing
is helping you make up your mind.
Today, you're happy.
Energetic, enthusiastic, powerful.
Too powerful, actually.
Today, you're going to be a star. At
work, you'll come up with a ground-
breaking research, a game-changing
invention. You'll make an
emotional speech and
thank those who
stuck with you.
Today, you feel like a champion.
Your shrink told you this
would happen, but you weren't
listening, were you?
Today, you're going to enjoy
the crowded streets,
you're going to relish
the feeling of being alive,
You'll try to enjoy this as much as
you possibly can, because
you might wake up
and the rain might still be falling,
knocking fiercely on your window.
There might be people chatting
outside, and their voices might
feel like they're piercing
your ears, and
you might make the decision
to not leave your bed
This reminds me of how we try as hard as we can to enjoy each moment, relish when we feel victorious and like we can get through this, because so often the next day or two can be a whirlwind of emotions, reality letting us fall hard and it's like the last few days are suddenly unknown or no longer tangible... going from knowing and tasting and touching happiness to feeling the dread come back, to realizing just how different it can be. And that's not easy. No amount of wishing can suddenly force that euphoria in the way we had it before.