Stuck

by nourayasmine   Feb 7, 2020


You can't hate your country.

You think you do,
but then you hear an old song
that smells like jasmines, you
watch white pigeons
marathon to the far roofs
of the empty buildings, then
marathon back to your balcony
to carry more grains
for their youngsters, and you
change your mind.

Your school might had been
all colored in black and white, your
books might had missed a few
pages. But you had friends there.
You ran there, you laughed
there, the walls still carry
your love letters, you had a favorite
teacher, she believed
in you when you were only
a third grader.

You might had thought
about leaving more times than you
could count. And you will,
one day. But the minute
the plane takes off, you'll feel
like you lost a part of
your identity. No
matter how shining the west
seems to you, you'll
miss the darkest of slums
in your third-world town.

You'll miss the one bedroom
apartment that was once choking
you. You'll miss the streets
where neighborhood boys
ferociously plan a football
game with twenty three
players, every evening.
You'll miss yourself there,
fighting for a living.

And with time, you'll forgive
your country for all those times
it broke you, and let you down.
For all those sad memories
it filled your heart with.
You'll always talk about your country,
watch news about your country.
You'll always think about
your country, because
you can't hate your country.

You think you do,
but then you remember
that this small dot
on the world map that millions of
people never even heard about,
is your first home, and you
change your mind.

6


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Latest Comments

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This is much an ode as it is a beautiful and sometimes conflicted reminder of our roots, however painful and full of sorrow they may be, we still can find the beauty and the little things we can't easily detach from or forget. Remembering may come with the mourning, the disappointments as you mention, but also the moments of joy, the intimate ways you know and breathed and lived there... just everything.

    Such a nostalgic gem, love that you shared specifics in this and it felt even more personal and something to be treasured. Especially because I think those are the things that stay with us the longest, when we have that wide range of emotions and even through all the ways it's broken us down, it still holds significance to us. <3

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Brenda

    No matter how much you try to escape your heart will always be there in your home town. I couldn't wait to run from mine and now it's my happy place.

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